Marcus Tullius Cicero · Complete work
Chapter 18
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SECTION 65firmamentum autem stabilitatis constantiaeque est eius quam in amicitia quaerimus fides est; nihil est enim stabile, quod infidum est. simplicem praeterea et communem et consentientem, id est, qui rebus isdem moveatur, elegi par est; quae omnia pertinent ad fidelitatem. neque enim fidum potest esse multiplex ingenium et tortuosum, neque vero, qui non isdem rebus movetur naturaque consentit, aut fidus aut stabilis potest esse. addendum eodem est, ut ne criminibus aut inferendis delectetur aut credat oblatis, quae pertinent omnia ad eam, quam iam dudum tracto, constantiam. ita fit verum illud, quod initio dixi, amicitiam nisi inter bonos esse non posse.est enim boni viri, quem eundem sapientem licet dicere, haec duo tenere in amicitia: primum, ne quid fictum sit neve simulatum; aperte enim vel odisse magis ingenui est quam fronte occultare sententiam; deinde non solum ab aliquo allatas criminationes repellere, sed ne ipsum quidem esse suspiciosum, semper aliquid existimantem ab amico esse violatum.
SECTION 66accedat huc suavitas quaedam oportet sermonum atque morum, haudquaquam mediocre condimentum amicitiae. tristitia autem et in omni re severitas habet illa quidem gravitatem, sed amicitia remissior esse debet et liberior et dulcior et ad omnem comitatem facilitatemque proclivior.
Mouseia
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SECTION 65The foundation of that stability and constancy which we seek in friendship is good faith, for nothing that is faithless can be stable. We should also choose a man who is frank, sociable, and sympathetic—that is, one who is moved by the same things as ourselves; and all these qualities belong to fidelity. For a devious and tortuous nature cannot be faithful; nor can a man who is not moved by the same things and is not congenial in nature be either faithful or steadfast. To this must be added that he should neither delight in bringing accusations nor believe them when they are brought to him; and all these qualities belong to that constancy which I have been discussing for some time. Thus the statement I made at the beginning proves true: friendship can exist only among good men.For it is the mark of a good man, whom we may equally call a wise man, to observe these two principles in friendship: first, that there be nothing false or feigned in it, since it is more honorable even to hate openly than to hide one’s opinion behind one’s countenance; and second, not merely to reject accusations brought by another, but also to refrain from being suspicious himself, forever imagining that his friend has somehow wronged him.
SECTION 66To these qualities there should be added a certain sweetness of speech and manners, by no means an insignificant seasoning of friendship. Gloom and unrelenting sternness do indeed possess a certain dignity, but friendship should be more relaxed, more free, and more agreeable, and more readily inclined toward every form of courtesy and affability.
Mouseia
Mouseia’s complete Plain English edition, made independently and directly from all 27 Latin chapters and 104 sections.
SECTION 65The foundation of the stability and constancy we seek in friendship is loyalty, for nothing disloyal is stable. We should also choose someone who is straightforward, sociable, and congenial—that is, someone who is moved by the same things as we are. All these qualities contribute to loyalty. A complicated and devious nature cannot be loyal, and a person who is not moved by the same things and is not congenial by nature can be neither loyal nor steadfast. We must add that he should neither take pleasure in making accusations nor believe accusations that are brought to him; all of this belongs to the constancy I have now been discussing for some time. Thus the claim I made at the beginning proves true: friendship can exist only among good people.
For it is the mark of a good man, whom we may also call a wise man, to observe these two rules in friendship. First, there must be nothing false or pretended; for it is more honorable even to hate openly than to conceal one’s true opinion behind one’s expression. Second, he must not only reject accusations brought by others, but must not himself be suspicious, always imagining that his friend has committed some offense against him.
SECTION 66To this must be added a certain pleasantness in conversation and manner, by no means an insignificant seasoning of friendship. Gloominess and severity in every matter do indeed possess a certain dignity, but friendship ought to be more relaxed, more unrestrained, and more agreeable, and more inclined toward every kind of courtesy and affability.