Chapter XVII
Original French
Lettre écrite au Jésuite Le Tellier, par un Bénéficier, le 6 Mai 1714.
Mon Révérend Pere,
J'Obéis aux ordres que Votre Révérence m'a donnés de lui présenter les moyens les plus propres de délivrer Jesus & sa Compagnie de leurs ennemis. Je crois qu'il ne reste plus que cinq cents mille Huguenots dans le Royaume, quelques-uns disent un million, d'autres quinze cents mille; mais en quelque nombre qu'ils soient, voici mon avis, que je soumets très-humblement au vôtre, comme je le dois.
1o. Il est aisé d'attraper en un jour tous les Prédicants, & de les pendre tous à la fois dans une même place, non-seulement pour l'édification publique, mais pour la beauté du spectacle.
2o. Je ferais assassiner dans leurs lits, tous les peres & meres, parce que si on les tuait dans les rues, cela pourrait causer quelque tumulte; plusieurs même pourraient se sauver, ce qu'il faut éviter, sur toute chose. Cette exécution est un corollaire nécessaire de nos principes; car s'il faut tuer un hérétique, comme tant de grands Théologiens le prouvent, il est évident qu'il faut les tuer tous.
3o. Je marierais le lendemain toutes les filles à de bons Catholiques, attendu qu'il ne faut pas dépeupler trop l'Etat après la derniere guerre; mais à l'égard des garçons de quatorze & quinze ans, déja imbus de mauvais principes, qu'on ne peut se flatter de détruire, mon opinion est qu'il faut les châtrer tous, afin que cette engeance ne soit jamais reproduite. Pour les autres petits garçons, ils seront élevés dans vos Colleges, & on les fouettera jusqu'à ce qu'ils sachent par cœur les Ouvrages de Sanchez & de Molina.
4o. Je pense, sauf correction, qu'il en faut faire autant à tous les Luthériens d'Alsace, attendu que dans l'année 1704, j'apperçus deux vieilles de ce Pays-là qui riaient le jour de la bataille d'Hochstedt.
5o. L'article des Jansénistes paraîtra peut-être un peu plus embarrassant; je les crois au nombre de six millions, au moins; mais un esprit tel que le vôtre ne doit pas s'en effrayer. Je comprends parmi les Jansénistes tous les Parlements, qui soutiennent si indignement les Libertés de l'Eglise Gallicane. C'est à Votre Révérence de peser avec sa prudence ordinaire les moyens de vous soumettre tous ces esprits revêches. La conspiration des poudres n'eut pas le succès desiré, parce qu'un des Conjurés eut l'indiscrétion de vouloir sauver la vie à son ami: mais comme vous n'avez point d'ami, le même inconvénient n'est point à craindre; il vous sera fort aisé de faire sauter tous les Parlements du Royaume avec cette invention du Moine Shwarts, qu'on appelle pulvis pyrius. Je calcule qu'il faut, l'un portant l'autre, trente-six tonneaux de poudre pour chaque Parlement; & ainsi en multipliant douze Parlements par trente-six tonneaux, cela ne compose que quatre cents trente-deux tonneaux, qui, à cent écus piece, font la somme de cent-vingt-neuf mille six cents livres; c'est une bagatelle pour le Révérend Pere Général.
Les Parlements une fois sautés, vous donnerez leurs Charges à vos Congréganistes, qui sont parfaitement instruits des Loix du Royaume.
6o. Il sera aisé d'empoisonner Mr. le Cardinal de Noailles, qui est un homme simple, & qui ne se défie de rien.
Votre Révérence employera les mêmes moyens de conversion auprès de quelques Evêques rénitents: leurs Evêchés seront mis entre les mains des Jésuites, moyennant un bref du Pape; alors tous les Evêques étant du parti de la bonne cause, & tous les Curés étant habilement choisis par les Evêques, voici ce que je conseille, sous le bon plaisir de Votre Révérence.
7o. Comme on dit que les Jansénistes communient au moins à Pâques, il ne serait pas mal de saupoudrer les Hosties de la drogue dont on se servit pour faire justice de l'Empereur Henri VII. Quelque Critique me dira peut-être, qu'on risquerait dans cette opération, de donner aussi de la mort aux rats aux Molinistes: cette objection est forte; mais il n'y a point de projet qui n'ait des inconvénients, point de systême qui ne menace ruine par quelque endroit. Si on était arrêté par ces petites difficultés, on ne viendroit jamais à bout de rien: & d'ailleurs, comme il s'agit de procurer le plus grand bien qu'il soit possible, il ne faut pas se scandaliser si ce grand bien entraîne après lui quelques mauvaises suites, qui ne sont de nulle considération.
Nous n'avons rien à nous reprocher: il est démontré que tous les prétendus Réformés, tous les Jansénistes, sont dévolus à l'Enfer; ainsi nous ne faisons que hâter le moment où ils doivent entrer en possession.
Il n'est pas moins clair que le Paradis appartient de droit aux Molinistes; donc en les faisant périr par mégarde, & sans aucune mauvaise intention, nous accélérons leur joye: nous sommes dans l'un & l'autre cas les Ministres de la Providence.
Quant à ceux qui pourraient être un peu effarouchés du nombre, Votre Paternité pourra leur faire remarquer, que depuis les jours florissants de l'Eglise, jusqu'à 1707, c'est-à-dire, depuis environ quatorze cents ans, la Théologie a procuré le massacre de plus de cinquante millions d'hommes; & que je ne propose d'en étrangler, ou égorger, ou empoisonner qu'environ six millions cinq cents mille.
On nous objectera peut-être encore que mon compte n'est pas juste, & que je viole la regle de trois; car, dira-t-on, si en quatorze cents ans il n'a péri que cinquante millions d'hommes pour des distinctions, des dilemmes, & des enthymêmes Théologiques, cela ne fait par année que trente-cinq mille sept cents quatorze personnes, avec fraction; & qu'ainsi je tue six millions soixante-quatre mille deux cents quatre-vingt-cinq personnes de trop, avec fraction, pour la présente année. Mais, en vérité, cette chicane est bien puérile; on peut même dire qu'elle est impie: car ne voit-on pas par mon procédé que je sauve la vie à tous les Catholiques jusqu'à la fin du Monde? On n'aurait jamais fait, si on voulait répondre à toutes les critiques.
Je suis avec un profond respect, de Votre Paternité,
Le très-humble, très-dévot & très-doux R..., natif d'Angoulême, Préfet de la Congrégation.
Ce projet ne put être exécuté, parce qu'il fallut beaucoup de temps pour prendre de justes mesures, & que le Pere Le Tellier fut exilé l'année suivante. Mais comme il faut examiner le pour & le contre, il est bon de rechercher dans quels cas on pourrait légitimement suivre en partie les vues du Correspondant du Pere Le Tellier. Il paraît qu'il serait dur d'exécuter ce projet dans tous ses points; mais il faut voir dans quelles occasions on doit rouer, ou pendre, ou mettre aux galeres les gens qui ne sont pas de notre avis: c'est l'objet du Chapitre suivant.
Musean translation
Complete machine-assisted Musean translation directly from French, reviewed against it. Includes all 25 chapters, Voltaire’s notes and the added Article with six edition references. Article transcription: French Wikisource, Garnier 1879, revision 15479820. Translation and Article: creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/.
Letter Written to the Jesuit Le Tellier by the Holder of a Benefice, May 6, 1714.
My Reverend Father,
I obey Your Reverence's orders to lay before you the means best suited to rid Jesus and his Society of their enemies. I believe only five hundred thousand Huguenots remain in the kingdom; some say a million, others a million and a half. But whatever their number, here is my opinion, which, as duty requires, I most humbly submit to yours.
1 It is easy to catch all the Protestant preachers in a single day and hang them all at once in the same square, not only for public edification but for the beauty of the spectacle.
2 I would have all the fathers and mothers murdered in their beds, because killing them in the streets might cause a disturbance; several might even escape, which must above all be prevented. This execution follows necessarily from our principles: for if a heretic must be killed, as so many great theologians prove, it is evident that all of them must be killed.
3 The next day I would marry all the girls to good Catholics, since we must not depopulate the state too much after the last war. As for the boys of fourteen and fifteen, already imbued with bad principles we cannot hope to destroy, my opinion is that they must all be castrated, so that this breed may never reproduce. The younger boys will be brought up in your colleges and whipped until they know the works of Sanchez and Molina by heart.
4 Subject to correction, I think the same should be done to all the Lutherans of Alsace, since in 1704 I noticed two old women from that country laughing on the day of the battle of Höchstädt.
5 The matter of the Jansenists may seem somewhat more troublesome; I believe they number at least six million. But a mind such as yours should not take fright. I include among the Jansenists all the parlements, which so unworthily uphold the liberties of the Gallican Church. It is for Your Reverence, with your customary prudence, to weigh the means of bringing all these unruly spirits into submission. The Gunpowder Plot did not meet with the desired success because one of the conspirators was indiscreet enough to wish to save his friend's life; but since you have no friends, the same difficulty need not be feared. It will be very easy for you to blow up all the kingdom's parlements with that invention of the monk Schwarz called gunpowder. I calculate that each parlement will require, on average, thirty-six barrels of powder. Multiplying twelve parlements by thirty-six barrels gives only four hundred thirty-two barrels, which, at a hundred écus each, amount to a hundred twenty-nine thousand six hundred livres: a trifle for the Reverend Father General.
Once the parlements have been blown up, you will give their offices to the members of your congregation, who are perfectly versed in the laws of the kingdom.
6 It will be easy to poison Cardinal de Noailles, who is a simple man and suspects nothing.
Your Reverence will employ the same means of conversion upon a few resistant bishops. Their bishoprics will be placed in the hands of the Jesuits by means of a papal brief. Then, with all the bishops on the side of the good cause and all the parish priests skillfully chosen by the bishops, here is what I advise, subject to Your Reverence's pleasure.
7 Since the Jansenists are said to take communion at least at Easter, it would not be a bad thing to sprinkle the hosts with the drug used to do justice upon Emperor Henry VII. Some critic may tell me that this operation would risk giving rat poison to the Molinists too. The objection is weighty; but no project is without drawbacks, no system without some point at which it threatens to collapse. If we let such small difficulties stop us, we would never accomplish anything. Besides, since our aim is to procure the greatest possible good, we must not be scandalized if this great good brings with it some evil consequences of no account.
We have nothing to reproach ourselves with. It is demonstrated that all the so-called Reformed and all the Jansenists are allotted to Hell; thus we merely hasten the moment when they must take possession.
It is no less clear that Paradise belongs by right to the Molinists; therefore, by causing their deaths inadvertently and without any ill intention, we hasten their joy. In either case we are the ministers of Providence.
As for those who might be somewhat alarmed by the number, Your Fatherhood may point out to them that from the flourishing days of the Church down to 1707—that is, in about fourteen hundred years—theology has brought about the massacre of more than fifty million people, whereas I propose to strangle, cut the throats of, or poison only about six million five hundred thousand.
Someone may object, again, that my calculation is wrong and that I violate the rule of three. For, they will say, if in fourteen hundred years only fifty million people have perished over theological distinctions, dilemmas, and enthymemes, that amounts to only thirty-five thousand seven hundred fourteen people a year, with a fraction; and so, for the present year, I am killing six million sixty-four thousand two hundred eighty-five people too many, with a fraction. But truly, this quibbling is quite childish; one might even call it impious. For does my procedure not plainly save the lives of all Catholics until the end of the world? We would never finish if we wished to answer every criticism.
With profound respect, I remain Your Fatherhood's
Most humble, most devout, and most gentle R…, a native of Angoulême, Prefect of the Congregation.
This project could not be carried out, because much time was needed to make proper arrangements and Father Le Tellier was exiled the following year. But since we must examine both sides, it is worth asking in what cases we might legitimately follow, in part, the views of Father Le Tellier's correspondent. It would seem harsh to carry out this project in every particular; but we must see on what occasions people who disagree with us should be broken on the wheel, hanged, or sent to the galleys. That is the subject of the following chapter.
Plain English translation
Independent, complete machine-assisted Plain English translation directly from French, reviewed against it. All 25 chapters, author’s notes and added Article with six edition references are retained. Article transcription: French Wikisource, Garnier 1879, revision 15479820. Translation and Article: creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/.
Letter Written to the Jesuit Le Tellier by a Holder of a Benefice, May 6, 1714.
My Reverend Father,
I am obeying Your Reverence's instructions to present the best ways of freeing Jesus and his Society from their enemies. I believe there are only five hundred thousand Huguenots left in the kingdom. Some say a million; others, a million and a half. Whatever their number, here is my opinion, which I most humbly submit to yours, as I should.
1 It is easy to catch all the Protestant preachers in a single day and hang them all at once in the same square, not only to instruct the public but also to make a beautiful spectacle.
2 I would have all the fathers and mothers murdered in their beds. Killing them in the streets might cause a disturbance. Several might even escape, which must be avoided above all. This execution necessarily follows from our principles. For if we must kill one heretic, as so many great theologians prove, we obviously must kill them all.
3 The next day I would marry all the girls to good Catholics, since we must not reduce the state's population too much after the last war. As for boys of fourteen and fifteen, already full of bad principles that we cannot hope to remove, my opinion is that they must all be castrated, so that this breed never reproduces. The younger boys will be brought up in your colleges and whipped until they know the works of Sanchez and Molina by heart.
4 Subject to correction, I think we must do the same to all the Lutherans of Alsace. In 1704 I noticed two old women from that country laughing on the day of the battle of Höchstädt.
5 The question of the Jansenists may seem a little more troublesome. I believe there are at least six million of them. But a mind like yours should not be frightened by that. I count among the Jansenists all the parlements, which so unworthily defend the liberties of the Gallican Church. It is for Your Reverence, with your usual good judgment, to weigh the ways of bringing all these stubborn minds into submission. The Gunpowder Plot did not succeed as hoped, because one of the conspirators made the mistake of wanting to save his friend's life. But since you have no friends, there is no reason to fear the same problem. You will find it very easy to blow up all the kingdom's sovereign law courts with the invention of the monk Schwarz, called gunpowder. I calculate that, on average, each parlement needs thirty-six barrels of powder. Multiplying twelve parlements by thirty-six barrels gives only four hundred and thirty-two barrels. At a hundred crowns each, that makes a total of a hundred and twenty-nine thousand six hundred livres. That is a trifle for the Reverend Father General.
Once the parlements have been blown up, you will give their offices to the members of your congregation, who know the kingdom's laws perfectly.
6 It will be easy to poison Cardinal de Noailles, who is a simple man and suspects nothing.
Your Reverence will use the same methods of conversion on a few stubborn bishops. Their bishoprics will be handed over to the Jesuits under a papal brief. Then, with all the bishops on the side of the good cause and all the parish priests skillfully chosen by the bishops, here is what I advise, subject to Your Reverence's approval.
7 Since the Jansenists are said to take communion at least at Easter, it would not be a bad idea to sprinkle the communion wafers with the drug used to bring Emperor Henry VII to justice. Some critic may tell me that in this operation we would risk giving rat poison to Molinists too. That is a strong objection. But no project is without drawbacks, and no system is without some weak point that threatens to bring it down. If we let these little difficulties stop us, we would never get anything done. Besides, since our aim is to produce the greatest possible good, we should not be shocked if that great good brings with it a few bad consequences of no importance.
We have nothing to reproach ourselves with. It has been proved that all the so-called Reformed and all the Jansenists are destined for hell. We are therefore only bringing forward the moment when they take possession of their inheritance.
It is just as clear that paradise belongs by right to the Molinists. So, by killing them accidentally and without any bad intention, we bring their joy forward. In both cases we are the servants of Providence.
As for anyone a little alarmed by the number, Your Paternity can point out that from the Church's flourishing days down to 1707, that is, over about fourteen hundred years, theology has brought about the slaughter of more than fifty million people. I propose to strangle, cut the throats of, or poison only about six million five hundred thousand.
Someone may also object that my calculation is wrong and that I break the rule of three. They will say that if, in fourteen hundred years, only fifty million people have died over theological distinctions, dilemmas, and arguments with unstated premises, that makes only thirty-five thousand seven hundred and fourteen people a year, plus a fraction. So for the present year I am killing six million sixty-four thousand two hundred and eighty-five people too many, plus a fraction. But really, this quibbling is childish. We could even call it ungodly. For does my method not plainly save the lives of all Catholics until the end of the world? We would never finish if we tried to answer every criticism.
With profound respect, I remain, Your Paternity's
Most humble, most devoted, and most gentle R…, a native of Angoulême, Prefect of the Congregation.
This plan could not be carried out because it took a long time to make the proper arrangements, and Father Le Tellier was exiled the following year. But since we must examine both sides, it is worth asking in what cases we could legitimately follow part of Father Le Tellier's correspondent's plans. It seems harsh to carry out every part of this project. Still, we must see on what occasions we should break on the wheel, hang, or send to the galleys people who disagree with us. That is the subject of the next chapter.
About this section
Chapter XVII is part of Treatise on Tolerance by Voltaire. This page sets the French original beside 2 direct-source translations, so any line can be checked against the source. It is chapter 17 of 26 in the work, which is kept in the European tradition.
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