Book 5, Chapter 26

“Even on the rack, under torture?”

73 “Did you think I meant on a bed of violets or roses? Is Epicurus, who has merely put on the mask of a philosopher and bestowed that title on himself, to be allowed to say—and, as things stand, I applaud him for saying it—that there is no moment when the wise man, even if he is being burned, tortured, or cut to pieces, cannot cry out, ‘How little I care for this!’? After all, he defines all evil as pain and all good as pleasure; he laughs at our moral goodness and shame, and says that we are engrossed in words, pouring out empty sounds, and that nothing matters to us except the smooth or harsh sensations of the body. Is this man, then, whose judgment, as I said, scarcely differs from that of the beasts, to be allowed to forget his own position, to scorn Fortune when everything he calls good or evil is in Fortune’s power, and to declare himself happy in the utmost agony and torture, when he has laid it down that pain is not only the greatest evil but the only one?

74 “Nor has he equipped himself with those remedies for enduring pain: firmness of mind, shame at disgrace, training and habit in endurance, the teachings of courage, a manly toughness. Instead, he says that he finds relief in the single resource of remembering past pleasures—as if someone sweltering in the heat, and scarcely able to bear its force, should choose to remember how he had once been immersed in the cool streams at my place near Arpinum. I do not see how past pleasures can soothe present evils.

75 “But since he says that the wise man is always happy, though consistency would forbid him to say it, what should those do who believe that nothing lacking moral goodness should be sought, or counted as a good? On my advice, even the Peripatetics and the Old Academy should finally stop stammering and dare to say openly, in a clear voice, that the happy life will descend into the bull of Phalaris.”

“Even under torture and torment?”

73 “Were you imagining that I meant lying among roses or violets? Consider Epicurus. He’s only dressed up as a philosopher and given himself the name. Even so, he says something which, under the circumstances, I applaud: at every moment a wise person can shout, ‘This counts for nothing!’ That includes moments when he’s being burned, cut, or tortured. Yet for Epicurus pain defines every evil and pleasure defines every good. He ridicules our distinction between right and wrong. He says we’re preoccupied with words and making empty sounds: only what feels smooth or harsh in the body has any bearing on us. As I said, his judgment hardly differs from a wild animal’s. Is he nevertheless allowed to abandon his own principles and defy fortune? All his goods and evils depend on fortune. Is he allowed to announce that he’s happy while suffering the cruelest torture and agony? He has declared pain to be not merely the worst evil but the only evil.

74 “He hasn’t even equipped himself with the resources for enduring pain: a firm mind, a sense of shame about disgraceful behavior, practice and a habit of endurance, the teachings of courage, manly toughness. Instead he says he finds comfort simply by remembering past pleasures. It would be like someone burning up in the heat, finding it hard to stand, deciding to remember how he was once immersed in the cool rivers at my place at Arpinum. I can’t see how pleasures in the past can relieve troubles in the present—

75 “But he says a wise person is always happy, even though he couldn’t say it if he wanted to be consistent with himself. So what should people say who think nothing should be sought, or counted as good, unless it’s morally right? My advice even to the Peripatetics and the Old Academics is to stop stammering at last. Let them dare to say openly and in a clear voice that a happy life will go down into Phalaris’ bull.”