Book 4, Chapter 35

“To someone in this state, then, we must apply this treatment: show how trifling is the thing he desires, how contemptible, how utterly worthless; how easily it could be obtained from elsewhere or in another way, or disregarded altogether. Sometimes he must also be drawn away toward other pursuits, concerns, cares, and business. Finally, like patients who fail to recover, he must often be treated by a change of place.

75 “Some even think an old love should be driven out by a new one, as one nail drives out another. Above all, he <must be> reminded how great is the madness of love. Of all disturbances of the soul, there is certainly none more violent. Even if you choose not to denounce those acts themselves—I mean sexual misconduct, seductions, adulteries, and finally incest, the shamefulness of all of which deserves condemnation—even if you leave these aside, the very disturbance of the mind in love is foul in itself.

76 “For, passing over the acts of madness, how much instability there is even in those things which seem moderate:

“‘Wrongs,“‘Suspicions, enmities, truces,“‘War, peace again! If you demand that these uncertainties“‘Be ordered by certain reason, you achieve no more“‘Than if you tried to go mad reasonably.’

“Who would not be deterred by the sheer perversity of this inconstancy and changeability of mind? We must also demonstrate what is said of every disturbance: none exists except through belief, through an adopted judgment, through our will. For if love were natural, everyone would love, would love always, and would love the same thing; shame would not deter one person, reflection another, satiety another.”

“For someone in that state, then, this treatment must be applied: show how trivial the thing he craves is, how contemptible, how utterly worthless; how easily it can be obtained elsewhere or in another way, or ignored altogether. Sometimes he should also be drawn away to other interests, worries, cares, and business. Finally, like sick people who aren’t recovering, he should often be treated by a change of place.

75 “One proposal is to use a new love to knock out the old, as a nail knocks out another nail. Most important, though, is reminding him of love’s tremendous madness. No other mental disturbance is more violent, surely. We needn’t even bring charges against the acts themselves: illicit sex, seduction, adultery, even incest. All are ugly enough to deserve blame. Yet put them aside and the mental disturbance involved in love remains ugly on its own.

76 “Leave the outright madness aside. Even behavior said to be moderate shows such instability: “‘Injuries, “‘Suspicions, hostilities, truces, “‘War, then peace once more! Ask for these uncertain things “‘To be made certain by reason, and your efforts will match “‘The effort to be reasonably insane.’ “Surely the sheer wrongness of this shifting, inconsistent mind ought to drive anyone away? We also need to establish the rule applying to every disturbance: no disturbance exists without belief, none is admitted without judgment, none is involuntary. If love came from nature, everybody would love all the time and love the same thing. Neither shame nor reflection nor having had enough would turn different people away from it.”