Chapter 32

78 At home, then, you had love for your excuse; outside, you had one still more shameful: to keep Lucius Plancus from auctioning off your sureties’ property. But when a tribune of the people brought you before an assembly, and you answered that you had come on your own business, you even set the people making jokes at your expense. But too much of these trifles: let us come to greater matters.

You went a very long way to meet Gaius Caesar on his return from Spain. You went quickly and came back quickly, so that he might know you were energetic, even if not brave. Somehow or other you became his intimate again. Caesar certainly had this trait: when he knew a man to be utterly ruined by debt and destitute, and knew him also to be worthless and reckless, he welcomed him into his intimacy with the greatest pleasure.

79 With these splendid recommendations, orders were given that you should be proclaimed consul—and with Caesar himself as your colleague. I make no complaint here about Dolabella, who was then urged on, led along, and cheated. Who does not know how treacherously each of you treated Dolabella in that affair? Caesar induced him to stand, then broke his pledged promise and transferred the office to himself; you added your own willing assent to his treachery. The first of January came; we were compelled to attend the senate. Dolabella attacked this fellow at far greater length and with much more preparation than I do now.

80 But what this fellow said in his anger—good gods! First, Caesar had announced that before he left he would have Dolabella made consul—and people deny that he was a king, though he was forever doing and saying things of that sort! But when Caesar had said this, our excellent augur declared that he held a priesthood which gave him power either to obstruct the election through the auspices or to invalidate it, and he insisted that he would do so. Here, to begin with, observe the man’s incredible stupidity.

81 Well? This thing you said you could do by the authority of your priesthood: if you had not been an augur, but had been consul, would you have had less power to do it? Consider whether you might not have done it even more easily. We augurs have only the right to report signs; consuls and the other magistrates also have the right to watch for them. Very well: that was ignorance. We must not demand good sense from a man who is never sober. But look at his shamelessness. Many months in advance he said in the senate that he would either prevent Dolabella’s election through the auspices or do what he in fact did. Can anyone divine what flaw will arise in the auspices unless he has resolved to watch the sky? The law does not permit that during an election; and if a man has watched, he must report it not after the election has been held, but before it is held. Yet his shamelessness is entangled with ignorance: he neither knows what an augur should know nor does what a decent man should do.

78 At home, love was your reason. In public, you had an even uglier reason. You didn’t want Lucius Plancus selling your guarantors’ property. A tribune of the people brought you before a public meeting. You said you’d come to handle your own affairs. That even got the people making jokes about you. But that’s too much about this nonsense. Let’s move to bigger things.

You went a very long way to meet Caesar. He was coming back from Spain. You hurried out and hurried back. You wanted him to see you had energy, if not courage. Somehow you became close to him again. Caesar certainly had this habit. A man’s debts had utterly ruined him. He was penniless. If Caesar knew he was also a reckless scoundrel, he was especially eager to make him a close friend.

79 All that gave you a glowing recommendation. Orders went out to declare you consul—with Caesar himself. I’m not complaining about what happened to Dolabella. He was pushed into it, led on, and tricked. Who doesn’t know how badly you both betrayed Dolabella? Caesar encouraged him to run. Then he took back what he’d promised and guaranteed. He claimed the position for himself. You added your support to his betrayal. January 1 came. We were forced into a Senate meeting. Dolabella attacked you at much greater length than I’m doing now. He was much better prepared too.

80 And what did this angry man say? Good gods! First, Caesar announced his plan. Before leaving, he would order Dolabella’s appointment as consul. People say Caesar wasn’t a king! Yet he kept doing and saying things like that. Anyway, when Caesar said this, our fine augur spoke up. His priestly office, he said, gave him certain powers. He could use the omens to stop an election or invalidate it. He firmly declared he would do that. First, notice the man’s incredible stupidity here.

81 What’s this? You said your priestly office let you do it. Suppose you weren’t an augur, but you were consul. Would you have had any less power to do it? You might even have found it easier. We augurs can only report omens. Consuls and other officials can also watch for them. Fine: that was ignorance. We can’t expect good sense from a man who’s never sober. But look at his nerve. Months beforehand, he told the Senate what he’d do. He’d either use the omens to stop Dolabella’s election, or do what he actually did. Can anyone predict a flaw in the omens? Only someone who’s decided to watch the sky. The laws don’t allow that during elections. And anyone who has watched must report beforehand, not after the election. His ignorance and shamelessness are tangled together. He doesn’t know what an augur should know. He doesn’t act as a decent man should.