Voltaire · Complete work
Letter VI
Letter VI of 24. Read it here for reference, or continue through the entire work without leaving the reader.
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sur les presbytériens.
La religion anglicane ne règne qu’en Angleterre et en Irlande.Le presbytérianisme est la religion dominante en Écosse. Cepresbytérianisme n’est autre chose que le calvinisme pur, tel qu’ilavait été établi en France et qu’il subsiste à Genève. Comme lesprêtres de cette secte ne reçoivent de leurs églises que des gagestrès-médiocres, et que par conséquent ils ne peuvent vivre dansle même luxe que les évêques, ils ont pris le parti naturel decrier contre les honneurs où ils ne peuvent atteindre. Figurez-vousl’orgueilleux Diogène qui foulait aux pieds l’orgueil de Platon:les presbytériens d’Écosse ne ressemblent pas mal à ce fieret gueux raisonneur. Ils traitèrent le roi Charles II avec bienmoins d’égards que Diogène n’avait traité Alexandre. Car lorsqu’ilsprirent les armes pour lui contre Cromwell, qui les avaittrompés, ils firent essuyer à ce pauvre roi quatre sermons parjour; ils lui défendaient de jouer; ils le mettaient en pénitence;si bien que Charles se lassa bientôt d’être roi de ces pédants, ets’échappa de leurs mains comme un écolier se sauve du collège.
Devant un jeune et vif bachelier français, dans les écoles de théologie, et le soir chantant avec les dames,un théologien anglican est un Caton; mais ce Caton paraît ungalant devant un presbytérien d’Écosse. Ce dernier affecte unedémarche grave, un air fâché, porte un vaste chapeau, un longmanteau par-dessus un habit court, prêche du nez, et donne lenom de prostituée de Babylone à toutes les églises où quelquesecclésiastiques sont assez heureux pour avoir cinquante millelivres de rente, et où le peuple est assez bon pour le souffrir, etpour les appeler Monseigneur, votre Grandeur, votre Éminence.
Ces messieurs, qui ont aussi quelques églises en Angleterre,ont mis les airs graves et sévères à la mode en ce pays. C’est àeux qu’on doit la sanctification du dimanche dans les troisroyaumes; il est défendu ce jour-là de travailler et de se divertir,ce qui est le double de la sévérité des églises catholiques; pointd’opéra, point de comédie, point de concerts à Londres ledimanche; les cartes même y sont si expressément défenduesqu’il n’y a que les personnes de qualité, et ce qu’on appelle leshonnêtes gens qui jouent ce jour-là. Le reste de la nation va ausermon, au cabaret, et chez des filles de joie.
Quoique la secte épiscopale et la presbytérienne soient lesdeux dominantes dans la Grande-Bretagne, toutes les autres ysont bien venues et vivent assez bien ensemble, pendant que laplupart de leurs prédicants se détestent réciproquement avecpresque autant de cordialité qu’un janséniste damne un jésuite.
Entrez dans la bourse de Londres, cette place plus respectableque bien des cours, vous y voyez rassemblés les députés de toutesles nations pour l’utilité des hommes. Là le juif, le mahométan,et le chrétien, traitent l’un avec l’autre comme s’ils étaient de lamême religion, et ne donnent le nom d’infidèles qu’à ceux quifont banqueroute; là le presbytérien se fie à l’anabaptiste, et l’anglicanreçoit la promesse du quaker. Au sortir de ces pacifiques etlibres assemblées, les uns vont à la synagogue, les autres vontboire: celui-ci va se faire baptiser dans une grande cuve au nomdu Père, par le Fils, au Saint-Esprit; celui-là fait couper le prépucede son fils, et fait marmotter sur l’enfant des paroles hébraïquesqu’il n’entend point; ces autres vont dans leur égliseattendre l’inspiration de Dieu leur chapeau sur la tête: et toussont contents.
S’il n’y avait en Angleterre qu’une religion, son despotisme serait à craindre; s’il n’y en avait que deux, elles se couperaientla gorge; mais il y en a trente, et elles vivent en paix et heureuses.
Musean translation
Mouseia’s complete machine-assisted Musean translation, made directly from the French text of all twenty-four letters (Garnier edition, 1879, French Wikisource) for fidelity, the author’s force and cadence, and modern clarity.
On the Presbyterians
The Anglican religion reigns only in England and Ireland. Presbyterianism is the dominant religion in Scotland. This Presbyterianism is nothing but pure Calvinism, as it was established in France and still exists in Geneva. Because the ministers of this sect receive only very modest salaries from their churches, and consequently cannot live in the same luxury as the bishops, they have taken the natural course of railing against honors beyond their reach. Picture proud Diogenes trampling on the pride of Plato: the Presbyterians of Scotland bear a striking resemblance to that haughty, penniless philosopher. They treated King Charles II with far less consideration than Diogenes had shown Alexander. For when they took up arms for him against Cromwell, who had deceived them, they made the poor king endure four sermons a day; they forbade him to play games; they set him penances; so that Charles soon tired of being king of these pedants, and escaped from their hands like a schoolboy running away from school.
Beside a lively young French bachelor, in the schools of theology and singing with the ladies in the evening, an Anglican theologian is a Cato; but that Cato looks like a gallant beside a Scottish Presbyterian. The latter affects a solemn gait and a surly expression, wears a vast hat and a long cloak over a short coat, preaches through his nose, and calls every church the Whore of Babylon where some churchmen are fortunate enough to have an income of fifty thousand livres and the people are good-natured enough to put up with it and address them as My Lord, Your Grace, Your Eminence.
These gentlemen, who also have a few churches in England, have made grave and austere airs fashionable in that country. To them we owe the sanctification of Sunday in the three kingdoms; on that day working and enjoying oneself are forbidden, twice the severity of the Catholic churches. No opera, no plays, no concerts in London on Sunday; cards themselves are so expressly forbidden that only people of rank and those called respectable people play on that day. The rest of the nation goes to the sermon, the tavern, and the houses of prostitutes.
Although the episcopal and Presbyterian sects are the two dominant ones in Great Britain, all the others are welcome there and live together well enough, while most of their preachers detest one another with almost as much cordiality as a Jansenist damns a Jesuit.
Enter the London Exchange, a place more worthy of respect than many courts, and you will see representatives of every nation assembled there for the benefit of humankind. There the Jew, the Muslim, and the Christian deal with one another as if they belonged to the same religion, and call no one an infidel but a bankrupt; there the Presbyterian trusts the Anabaptist, and the Anglican accepts the word of the Quaker. On leaving these peaceful and free gatherings, some go to the synagogue, others go drinking; one man goes to be baptized in a great tub in the name of the Father, by the Son, in the Holy Spirit; another has his son's foreskin cut off and Hebrew words he does not understand mumbled over the child; others go to their church to await inspiration from God, hats on their heads: and all are content.
If there were only one religion in England, its despotism would be a danger; if there were only two, they would cut each other's throats; but there are thirty, and they live in peace and happiness.
Plain English translation
Mouseia’s complete Plain English edition, made independently and directly from the French text of all twenty-four letters (Garnier edition, 1879, French Wikisource).
On the Presbyterians
The Anglican religion prevails only in England and Ireland. Presbyterianism is the dominant religion in Scotland. This Presbyterianism is simply Calvinism in its pure form, as it was established in France and as it still exists in Geneva. The ministers of this sect receive only very modest pay from their churches. As a result, they cannot live in the same luxury as bishops, so naturally they denounce the honors they cannot get. Picture proud Diogenes trampling on Plato's pride. The Scottish Presbyterians are much like that proud, penniless thinker. They treated King Charles II with far less respect than Diogenes had shown Alexander. When they took up arms for Charles against Cromwell, who had deceived them, they made the poor king sit through four sermons a day. They forbade him to play games and made him do penance. Charles soon got tired of being king of these pedants and escaped from them like a schoolboy running away from school.
Compared with a lively young French theologian who spends his days in theology classes and his evenings singing with the ladies, an Anglican theologian is a Cato. But that Cato looks like a ladies' man beside a Scottish Presbyterian. The Presbyterian puts on a solemn walk and a sour expression. He wears an enormous hat and a long cloak over a short coat. He preaches through his nose. He calls every church the whore of Babylon if some of its clergy are lucky enough to have an income of fifty thousand livres a year and its people are good enough to tolerate this and to address them as My Lord, Your Lordship, and Your Eminence.
These gentlemen also have some churches in England, and have made grave, stern behavior fashionable there. They are responsible for keeping Sunday holy in the three kingdoms. On that day it is forbidden to work or to have fun, a rule twice as strict as that of the Catholic churches. On Sundays in London there is no opera, no theater, and no concerts. Even card games are so strictly forbidden that only the nobility and those called respectable people play them that day. The rest of the nation goes to sermons, taverns, and prostitutes.
Although the bishops' church and the Presbyterian church are the two dominant sects in Great Britain, all the others are welcome and get along fairly well. Meanwhile most of their preachers hate each other almost as wholeheartedly as a Jansenist condemns a Jesuit to hell.
Go into the London Exchange. This place deserves more respect than many royal courts. There you see representatives of every nation gathered to serve people's needs. Jews, Muslims, and Christians do business together as if they shared a religion. The only people they call unbelievers are those who go bankrupt. The Presbyterian trusts the Anabaptist, and the Anglican accepts the Quaker's word. After these peaceful, free meetings, some go to the synagogue and others go for a drink. One goes to be baptized in a large tub in the name of the Father, by the Son, in the Holy Spirit. Another has his son's foreskin cut off while Hebrew words that he does not understand are mumbled over the child. Others go to their church and wait for God to inspire them, keeping their hats on. And everyone is content.
If England had just one religion, its tyranny would be frightening. If it had only two, they would cut each other's throats. But it has thirty, and they live together peacefully and happily.