Wu Cheng’en (attributed) · Complete work
Chapter 5
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第五回 亂蟠桃大聖偷丹 反天宮諸神捉怪
話表齊天大聖到底是個妖猴，更不知官銜品從，也不較俸祿高低，但只註名便了。那齊天府下二司仙吏，早晚伏侍，只知日食三餐，夜眠一榻，無事牽縈，自由自在。閑時節會友遊宮，交朋結義。見三清稱個「老」字，逢四帝道個「陛下」。與那九曜星、五方將、二十八宿、四大天王、十二元辰、五方五老、普天星相、河漢群神，俱只以弟兄相待，彼此稱呼。今日東遊，明日西蕩，雲去雲來，行蹤不定。
一日，玉帝早朝，班部中閃出許旌陽真人，頫顖啟奏道：「今有齊天大聖無事閑遊，結交天上眾星宿，不論高低，俱稱朋友，恐後閑中生事。不若與他一件事管，庶免別生事端。」玉帝聞言，即時宣詔。那猴王欣欣然而至，道：「陛下，詔老孫有何陞賞？」玉帝道：「朕見你身閑無事，與你件執事：你且權管那蟠桃園，早晚好生在意。」大聖歡喜謝恩，朝上唱喏而退。
他等不得窮忙，即入蟠桃園內查勘。本園中有個土地攔住問道：「大聖何往？」大聖道：「吾奉玉帝點差，代管蟠桃園，今來查勘也。」那土地連忙施禮，即呼那一班鋤樹力士、運水力士、修桃力士、打掃力士都來見大聖磕頭，引他進去。但見那：
夭夭灼灼，顆顆株株。夭夭灼灼花盈樹，顆顆株株果壓枝。果壓枝頭垂錦彈；花盈樹上簇胭脂。時開時結千年熟，無夏無冬萬載遲。先熟的，酡顏醉臉；還生的，帶蒂青皮。凝煙肌帶綠，映日顯丹姿。樹下奇葩並異卉，四時不謝色齊齊；左右樓臺並館舍，盈空常見罩雲霓。不是玄都凡俗種，瑤池王母自栽培。
大聖看玩多時，問土地道：「此樹有多少株數？」土地道：「有三千六百株：前面一千二百株，花微果小，三千年一熟，人吃了成仙了道，體健身輕；中間一千二百株，層花甘實，六千年一熟，人吃了霞舉飛昇，長生不老；後面一千二百株，紫紋緗核，九千年一熟，人吃了與天地齊壽，日月同庚。」大聖聞言，歡喜無任。當日查明了株樹，點看了亭閣，回府。自此後，三五日一次賞玩，也不交友，也不他遊。
一日，見那老樹枝頭，桃熟大半。他心裡要吃個嘗新，奈何本園土地、力士並齊天府仙吏緊隨不便。忽設一計道：「汝等且出門外伺候，讓我在這亭上少憩片時。」那眾仙果退。只見那猴王脫了冠服，爬上大樹，揀那熟透的大桃，摘了許多，就在樹枝上自在受用。吃了一飽，卻才跳下樹來，簪冠著服，喚眾等儀從回府。遲三二日，又去設法偷桃，儘他享用。
一朝，王母娘娘設宴，大開寶閣，瑤池中做蟠桃勝會。即著那紅衣仙女、青衣仙女、素衣仙女、皂衣仙女、紫衣仙女、黃衣仙女、綠衣仙女各頂花籃，去蟠桃園摘桃建會。七衣仙女直至園門首，只見蟠桃園土地、力士同齊天府二司仙吏，都在那裡把門。仙女近前道：「我等奉王母懿旨，到此摘桃設宴。」土地道：「仙娥且住。今歲不比往年了，玉帝點差齊天大聖在此督理，須是報大聖得知，方敢開園。」仙女道：「大聖何在？」土地道：「大聖在園內，因困倦，自家在亭子上睡哩。」仙女道：「既如此，尋他去來，不可遲誤。」土地即與同進。尋至花亭不見，只有衣冠在亭，不知何往，四下裡都沒尋處。原來大聖耍了一會，吃了幾個桃子，變做二寸長的個人兒，在那大樹梢頭濃葉之下睡著了。七衣仙女道：「我等奉旨前來，尋不見大聖，怎敢空回？」傍有仙使道：「仙娥既奉旨來，不必遲疑。我大聖閑遊慣了，想是出園會友去了。汝等且去摘桃，我們替你回話便是。」
那仙女依言，入樹林之下摘桃：先在前樹摘了二籃，又在中樹摘了三籃，到後樹上摘取，只見那樹上花果稀疏，止有幾個毛蒂青皮的。原來熟的都是猴王吃了。七仙女張望東西，只見向南枝上止有一個半紅半白的桃子。青衣女用手扯下枝來，紅衣女摘了，卻將枝子望上一放。
原來那大聖變化了，正睡在此枝，被他驚醒。大聖即現本相，耳朵內掣出金箍棒，幌一幌，碗來粗細，咄的一聲道：「你是那方怪物，敢大膽偷摘我桃。」慌得那七仙女一齊跪下道：「大聖息怒。我等不是妖怪，乃王母娘娘差來的七衣仙女，摘取仙桃，大開寶閣，做蟠桃勝會。適至此間，先見了本園土地等神，尋大聖不見。我等恐遲了王母懿旨，是以等不得大聖，故先在此摘桃。萬望恕罪。」大聖聞言，回嗔作喜道：「仙娥請起。王母開閣設宴，請的是誰？」仙女道：「上會自有舊規，請的是西天佛老、菩薩、聖僧、羅漢，南方南極觀音，東方崇恩聖帝、十洲三島仙翁，北方北極玄靈，中央黃極黃角大仙，這個是五方五老。還有五斗星君，上八洞三清、四帝、太乙天仙等眾，中八洞玉皇、九壘、海嶽神仙，下八洞幽冥教主、注世地仙，各宮各殿大小尊神，俱一齊赴蟠桃嘉會。」大聖笑道：「可請我麼？」仙女道：「不曾聽得說。」大聖道：「我乃齊天大聖，就請我老孫做個席尊，有何不可？」仙女道：「此是上會舊規，今會不知如何。」大聖道：「此言也是，難怪汝等。你且立下，待老孫先去打聽個消息，看可請老孫不請。」
好大聖，捻著訣，念聲咒語，對眾仙女道：「住！住！住！」這原來是個定身法，把那七衣仙女，一個個睖睖睜睜，白著眼，都站在桃樹之下。大聖縱朵祥雲，跳出園內，竟奔瑤池路上而去。正行時，只見那壁廂：
一天瑞靄光搖曳，五色祥雲飛不絕。白鶴聲鳴振九皋，紫芝色秀分千葉。中間現出一尊仙，相貌天然丰采別。神舞虹霓幌漢霄，腰懸寶籙無生滅。名稱赤腳大羅仙，特赴蟠桃添壽節。
那赤腳大仙覿面撞見大聖，大聖低頭定計，賺哄真仙，他要暗去赴會，卻問：「老道何往？」大仙道：「蒙王母見招，去赴蟠桃嘉會。」大聖道：「老道不知。玉帝因老孫觔斗雲疾，著老孫五路邀請列位，先至通明殿下演禮，後方去赴宴。」大仙是個光明正大之人，就以他的誑語作真，道：「常年就在瑤池演禮謝恩，如何先去通明殿演禮，方去瑤池赴會？」無奈，只得撥轉祥雲，徑往通明殿去了。
大聖駕著雲，念聲咒語，搖身一變，就變做赤腳大仙模樣，前奔瑤池。不多時，直至寶閣，按住雲頭，輕輕移步，走入裡面。只見那裡：
瓊香繚繞，瑞靄繽紛。瑤臺鋪彩結，寶閣散氤氳。鳳翥鸞翔形縹緲，金花玉萼影浮沉。上排著九鳳丹霞扆，八寶紫霓墩，五彩描金桌，千花碧玉盆。桌上有龍肝和鳳髓，熊掌與猩唇。珍饈百味般般美，異果嘉殽色色新。
那裡鋪設得齊齊整整，卻還未有仙來。
這大聖點看不盡，忽聞得一陣酒香撲鼻。忽轉頭，見右壁廂長廊之下，有幾個造酒的仙官、盤糟的力士，領幾個運水的道人、燒火的童子，在那裡洗缸刷甕，已造成了玉液瓊漿，香醪佳釀。大聖止不住口角流涎，就要去吃，奈何那些人都在這裡。他就弄個神通，把毫毛拔下幾根，丟入口中嚼碎，噴將出去，念聲咒語，叫：「變！」即變做幾個瞌睡蟲，奔在眾人臉上。你看那夥人，手軟頭低，閉眉合眼，丟了執事，都去盹睡。大聖卻拿了些百味八珍，佳殽異品，走入長廊裡面，就著缸，挨著甕，放開量，痛飲一番。吃勾了多時，酕醄醉了。自揣自摸道：「不好，不好！再過會，請的客來，卻不怪我？一時拿住，怎生是好？不如早回府中睡去也。」
好大聖，搖搖擺擺，仗著酒，任情亂撞。一會把路差了，不是齊天府，卻是兜率天宮。一見了，頓然醒悟道：「兜率宮是三十三天之上，乃離恨天太上老君之處，如何錯到此間？也罷，也罷，一向要來望此老，不曾得來，今趁此殘步，就望他一望也好。」即整衣撞進去，那裡不見老君，四無人跡。原來那老君與燃燈古佛在三層高閣朱陵丹臺上講道，眾仙童、仙將、仙官、仙吏都侍立左右聽講。這大聖直至丹房裡面，尋訪不遇。但見丹灶之傍，爐中有火。爐左右安放著五個葫蘆，葫蘆裡都是煉就的金丹。大聖喜道：「此物乃仙家之至寶。老孫自了道以來，識破了內外相同之理，也要煉些金丹濟人，不期到家無暇。今日有緣，卻又撞著此物。趁老子不在，等我吃他幾丸嘗新。」他就把那葫蘆都傾出來，就都吃了，如吃炒豆相似。
一時間，丹滿酒醒。又自己揣度道：「不好，不好！這場禍比天還大，若驚動玉帝，性命難存。走，走，走，不如下界為王去也。」他就跑出兜率宮，不行舊路，從西天門，使個隱身法逃去。即按雲頭，回至花果山界。但見那旌旗閃灼，戈戟光輝，原來是四健將與七十二洞妖王，在那裡演習武藝。大聖高叫道：「小的們，我來也！」眾怪丟了器械，跪倒道：「大聖好寬心，丟下我等許久，不來相顧。」大聖道：「沒多時，沒多時。」
且說且行，徑入洞天深處。四健將打掃安歇，叩頭禮拜畢，俱道：「大聖在天這百十年，實受何職？」大聖笑道：「我記得才半年光景，怎麼就說百十年話？」健將道：「在天一日，即在下方一年也。」大聖道：「且喜這番玉帝相愛，果封做齊天大聖，起一座齊天府，又設安靜、寧神二司，司設仙吏侍衛。向後見我無事，著我看管蟠桃園。近因王母娘娘設蟠桃大會，未曾請我，是我不待他請，先赴瑤池，把他那仙品、仙酒，都是我偷吃了。走出瑤池，踉踉蹡蹡誤入老君宮闕，又把他五個葫蘆金丹也偷吃了。但恐玉帝見罪，方才走出天門來也。」
眾怪聞言大喜。即安排酒果接風，將椰酒滿斟一石碗奉上。大聖喝了一口，即咨牙徠嘴道：「不好吃，不好吃。」崩、芭二將道：「大聖在天宮吃了仙酒、仙殽，是以椰酒不甚美口。常言道：『美不美，鄉中水。』」大聖道：「你們就是『親不親，故鄉人。』我今早在瑤池中受用時，見那長廊之下有許多瓶罐，都是那玉液瓊漿。你們都不曾嘗著，待我再去偷他幾瓶回來，你們各飲半杯，一個個也長生不老。」眾猴歡喜不勝。
大聖即出洞門，又翻一觔斗，使個隱身法，徑至蟠桃會上，進瑤池宮闕，只見那幾個造酒、盤糟、運水、燒火的還鼾睡未醒。他將大的從左右脅下挾了兩個，兩手提了兩個，即撥轉雲頭回來，會眾猴在於洞中，就做個仙酒會，各飲了幾杯，快樂不題。
卻說那七衣仙女自受了大聖的定身法術，一周天方能解脫。各提花籃，回奏王母，說道：「齊天大聖使術法困住我等，故此來遲。」王母問道：「汝等摘了多少蟠桃？」仙女道：「只有兩籃小桃，三籃中桃。至後面，大桃半個也無，想都是大聖偷吃了。及正尋間，不期大聖走將出來，行兇拷打，又問設宴請誰。我等把上會事說了一遍，他就定住我等，不知去向。直到如今，才得醒解回來。」
王母聞言，即去見玉帝，備陳前事。說不了，又見那造酒的一班人，同仙官等來奏：「不知甚麼人，攪亂了蟠桃大會，偷吃了玉液瓊漿；其八珍百味，亦俱偷吃了。」又有四個大天師來奏上：「太上道祖來了。」玉帝即同王母出迎。老君朝禮畢，道：「老道宮中煉了些九轉金丹，伺候陛下做丹元大會，不期被賊偷去，特啟陛下知之。」玉帝見奏悚懼。少時，又有齊天府仙吏叩頭道：「孫大聖不守執事，自昨日出遊，至今未轉，更不知去向。」玉帝又添疑思。只見那赤腳大仙又頫顖上奏道：「臣蒙王母詔，昨日赴會，偶遇齊天大聖，對臣言萬歲有旨，著他邀臣等先赴通明殿演禮，方去赴會。臣依他言語，即返至通明殿外，不見萬歲龍車鳳輦，又急來此俟候。」玉帝越發大驚道：「這廝假傳旨意，賺哄賢卿。快著糾察靈官緝訪這廝蹤跡。」
靈官領旨，即出殿遍訪，盡得其詳細，回奏道：「攪亂天宮者，乃齊天大聖也。」又將前事盡訴一番。玉帝大惱，即差四大天王，協同李天王並哪吒太子，點二十八宿、九曜星官、十二元辰、五方揭諦、四值功曹、東西星斗、南北二神、五岳四瀆、普天星相，共十萬天兵，佈一十八架天羅地網，下界去花果山圍困，定捉獲那廝處治。
眾神即時興師，離了天宮。這一去，但見那：
黃風滾滾遮天暗，紫霧騰騰罩地昏。只為妖猴欺上帝，致令眾聖降凡塵。四大天王，五方揭諦：四大天王權總制，五方揭諦調多兵。李托塔中軍掌號，惡哪吒前部先鋒。羅猴星為頭檢點，計都星隨後崢嶸。太陰星精神抖擻，太陽星照耀分明。五行星偏能豪傑，九曜星最喜相爭。元辰星子午卯酉，一個個都是大力天丁。五瘟五岳東西擺，六丁六甲左右行。四瀆龍神分上下，二十八宿密層層。角亢氐房為總領，奎婁胃昴慣翻騰。斗牛女虛危室壁，心尾箕星個個能。井鬼柳星張翼軫，掄槍舞劍顯威靈。停雲降霧臨凡世，花果山前扎下營。
詩曰：
天產猴王變化多，偷丹偷酒樂山窩。只因攪亂蟠桃會，十萬天兵佈網羅。
當時李天王傳了令，著眾天兵扎了營，把那花果山圍得水泄不通，上下佈了十八架天羅地網，先差九曜惡星出戰。九曜即提兵徑至洞外，只見那洞外大小群猴跳躍頑耍。星官厲聲高叫道：「那小妖，你那大聖在那裡？我等乃上界差調的天神，到此降你這造反的大聖。教他快快來歸降；若道半個不字，教汝等一概遭誅。」那小妖慌忙傳入道：「大聖，禍事了！禍事了！外面有九個兇神，口稱上界差來的天神，收降大聖。」
那大聖正與七十二洞妖王並四健將分飲仙酒，一聞此報，公然不理道：「今朝有酒今朝醉，莫管門前是與非。」說不了，一起小妖又跳來道：「那九個兇神惡言潑語，在門前罵戰哩。」大聖笑道：「莫採他。詩酒且圖今日樂，功名休問幾時成。」說猶未了，又一起小妖來報：「爺爺！那九個兇神已把門打破，殺進來也。」大聖怒道：「這潑毛神，老大無禮。本待不與他計較，如何上門來欺我？」即命獨角鬼王：「領帥七十二洞妖王出陣。老孫領四健將隨後。」那鬼王疾帥妖兵出門迎敵，卻被九曜惡星一齊掩殺，抵住在鐵板橋頭，莫能得出。
正嚷間，大聖到了，叫一聲：「開路！」掣開鐵棒，幌一幌，碗來粗細，丈二長短，丟開架子，打將出來。九曜星那個敢抵，一時打退。那九曜星立住陣勢道：「你這不知死活的弼馬溫，你犯了十惡之罪：先偷桃，後偷酒，攪亂了蟠桃大會，又竊了老君仙丹，又將御酒偷來此處享樂。你罪上加罪，豈不知之？」大聖笑道：「這幾樁事，實有，實有。但如今你怎麼？」九曜星道：「吾奉玉帝金旨，帥眾到此收降你。快早皈依，免教這些生靈納命，不然，就屣平了此山，掀翻了此洞也。」大聖大怒道：「量你這些毛神，有何法力，敢出浪言。不要走，請吃老孫一棒。」這九曜星一齊踴躍；那美猴王不懼分毫，掄起金箍棒，左遮右擋。把那九曜星戰得筋疲力軟，一個個倒拖器械，敗陣而走，急入中軍帳下，對托塔天王道：「那猴王果十分驍勇，我等戰他不過，敗陣來了。」
李天王即調四大天王與二十八宿，一路出師來鬥。大聖也公然不懼，調出獨角鬼王、七十二洞妖王與四個健將，就於洞門外列成陣勢。你看這場混戰，好驚人也：
寒風颯颯，怪霧陰陰。那壁廂旌旗飛彩，這壁廂戈戟生輝。滾滾盔明，層層甲亮。滾滾盔明映太陽，如撞天的銀磬；層層甲亮砌岩崖，似壓地的冰山。大桿刀，飛雲掣電；楮白槍，度霧穿雲。方天戟，虎眼鞭，麻林擺列；青銅劍，四明鏟，密樹排陣。彎弓硬弩雕翎箭，短棍蛇矛挾了魂。大聖一條如意棒，翻來覆去戰天神。殺得那空中無鳥過，山內虎狼奔；揚砂走石乾坤黑，播土飛塵宇宙昏。只聽兵兵撲撲驚天地，煞煞威威振鬼神。
這一場自辰時佈陣，混殺到日落西山。那獨角鬼王與七十二洞妖怪，盡被眾天神捉拿去了。止走了四健將與那群猴，深藏在水簾洞底。
這大聖一條棒，抵住了四大天神與李托塔、哪吒太子，俱在半空中，殺勾多時，大聖見天色將晚，即拔毫毛一把，丟在口中，嚼碎了，噴將出去，叫聲：「變！」就變了千百個大聖，都使的是金箍棒，打退了哪吒太子，戰敗了五個天王。
大聖得勝，收了毫毛，急轉身回洞，早又見鐵板橋頭，四個健將領眾叩迎，那大眾，哽哽咽咽大哭三聲，又唏唏哈哈大笑三聲。大聖道：「汝等見了我，又哭又笑，何也？」四健將道：「今早帥眾將與天王交戰，把七十二洞妖王與獨角鬼王盡被眾神捉了，我等逃生，故此該哭。這見大聖得勝回來，未曾傷損，故此該笑。」大聖道：「勝負乃兵家之常。古人云：『殺人一萬，自損三千。』況捉了去的頭目乃是虎豹狼蟲、獾獐狐狢之類，我同類者未傷一個，何須煩惱？他雖被我使個分身法殺退，他還要安營在我山腳下。我等且緊緊防守，飽食一頓，安心睡覺，養養精神。天明看我使個大神通，拿這些天將，與眾報仇。」四將與眾猴將椰酒吃了幾碗，安心睡覺不題。
那四大天王收兵罷戰，眾各報功：有拿住虎豹的，有拿住獅象的，有拿住狼蟲狐狢的。更不曾捉著一個猴精。當時果又安轅營，下大寨，賞𤛮了得功之將，吩咐了天羅地網之兵，各各提鈴喝號，圍困了花果山，專待明早大戰。各人得令，一處處謹守。此正是：
妖猴作亂驚天地，佈網張羅晝夜看。
畢竟天曉後如何處治，且聽下回分解。
Musean translation
Mouseia’s complete machine-assisted Musean translation, made directly from the Chinese, passage for passage, covering all 100 chapters and 3,782 source paragraphs of the Traditional Chinese text.
The Great Sage Disrupts the Peach Banquet and Steals the Elixir; Rebelling Against Heaven, He Is Hunted by the Gods
The Great Sage Equal to Heaven was still a monkey demon; he cared nothing for official grades or salary so long as his name was enrolled. The clerks of his two offices attended him morning and evening. He ate three meals, slept soundly, and wandered at will without obligations. He visited palaces, made friends, and swore brotherhood. He addressed the Three Pure Ones as “elders” and the Four Emperors as “Majesties,” but treated the Nine Luminaries, generals of five directions, Twenty-Eight Mansions, Four Heavenly Kings, Twelve Year Gods, Five Elders of the Five Directions, stars, and gods of the Milky Way alike as brothers. He roamed east today, west tomorrow, coming and going on clouds as he pleased.
At morning court, the Perfected Master Xu Jingyang said: “The Great Sage Equal to Heaven wanders about without work and calls the celestial gods his friends regardless of rank. Idleness may lead to trouble. Give him a duty.” The Jade Emperor summoned Wukong. “Majesty, what promotion have you for me?” “You have little to do. Take charge of the Peach Garden and tend it carefully.” Delighted, the Great Sage bowed and withdrew.
He rushed to inspect the Peach Garden. The local earth god stopped him. “Where are you going, Great Sage?” “The Jade Emperor has appointed me keeper of this garden. I'm here to inspect it.” The god bowed and called the workers who hoed trees, carried water, pruned peaches, and swept paths to greet their new master. They led him inside, where he saw:
Blooms brilliant and tender, fruit on every tree. Blossoms filled the branches and fruit bent them low; bright peaches hung like brocade balls and petals clustered like rouge. Ripening took thousands of years, through winters and summers without end. The ripe peaches glowed like drunken faces, while the unripe ones were still green at the stem. Their flesh was tinged with green mist, their red skins gleamed in the sun. Strange flowers beneath the trees kept their colors through all seasons; pavilions and halls on either side rose into a sky forever wreathed in colored clouds. No ordinary seeds from the Dark Capital: the Queen Mother herself had planted them beside the Jade Pool.
“How many trees are here?” the Great Sage asked. “Three thousand six hundred,” said the earth god. “The first 1,200 bear small fruit and flowers, ripening once every 3,000 years. Eat them and you become immortal, strong and light. The middle 1,200 bloom in layers and bear sweet fruit every 6,000 years. Eat them and rise into the clouds, never growing old. The last 1,200 have purple-striped fruit with pale yellow pits; they ripen every 9,000 years. Eat them and live as long as heaven and earth, the sun and moon.” Wukong was delighted. He counted the trees and inspected the pavilions before going home. Thereafter he visited every few days, neglecting his friends and other excursions.
One day half the peaches on the old trees had ripened. Wukong longed to taste them, but the god, workers, and clerks were following him. “Wait outside while I rest in this pavilion.” When they left, he removed his crown and robe, climbed a tree, picked the ripest peaches, and ate his fill among the branches. Then he descended, dressed, and called his retinue back to escort him home. Every few days he returned to steal more.
The Queen Mother prepared a Peach Banquet in her jeweled pavilion beside the Jade Pool. She sent seven immortal maidens, dressed in red, blue, white, black, purple, yellow, and green, each with a flower basket to gather peaches. At the garden gate the earth god, gardeners, and Great Sage's clerks were on guard. “The Queen Mother orders us to pick peaches for her feast,” the maidens said. “Wait. This year the Jade Emperor has appointed the Great Sage keeper of the garden. We must tell him first.” “Where is he?” “Asleep in the pavilion.” But when they looked, only his crown and robe remained. They could not find him anywhere. In fact, after eating several peaches Wukong had shrunk himself to two inches and fallen asleep under thick leaves high in a tree. “We cannot return empty-handed,” the maidens said. A clerk suggested: “His Majesty often visits friends. He must have left the garden. Pick the peaches and we'll explain.”
They picked two baskets from the first trees and three from the middle. But the last trees had hardly any fruit: only a few green peaches with fuzzy stems remained. Wukong had eaten all the ripe ones. The maidens searched until they found one half-red, half-white peach on a southern branch. The maiden in blue drew down the branch, the maiden in red picked the fruit, and the branch sprang up.
Wukong, sleeping on that branch, awoke, took his own form, drew the gold-banded staff from his ear and enlarged it. “Who are you, stealing my peaches?” The seven maidens knelt. “Forgive us, Great Sage! We are the Queen Mother's maidens, here to pick peaches for her banquet. We spoke with the earth god and searched for you, but could not delay her orders. Please pardon us.” Wukong's anger turned to delight. “Get up. Who is invited?” “As in former years, the Buddha of the Western Heaven, bodhisattvas, holy monks, and arhats; Guanyin of the Southern Pole; the Holy Emperor of Exalted Grace in the east and the immortal elders of ten continents and three islands; the Dark Spirit of the Northern Pole; and the Great Yellow-Horned Immortal of the Central Pole: the Five Elders of the Five Directions. Also the Star Lords of the Five Bushels; the Three Pure Ones, Four Emperors, Supreme Unity immortals, and others of the upper eight caves; the Jade Emperor, gods of the nine ramparts, seas, and mountains of the middle eight caves; the underworld lord and earthly immortals of the lower eight caves; and gods great and small from every hall and palace.” “And me?” “We haven't heard your name mentioned.” “Could they not invite the Great Sage Equal to Heaven as guest of honor?” “That was the custom of previous banquets; we cannot say what will happen this year.” “Fair enough. Wait here while I find out.”
The Great Sage made a hand sign and spoke a spell. “Stay still!” The seven maidens froze beneath the trees, eyes staring. He mounted a cloud and flew toward the Jade Pool. On the way he saw:
A sky of auspicious haze shimmered with light; five-colored clouds streamed endlessly.White cranes called across the nine marshes; purple numinous mushrooms spread a thousand petals.An immortal appeared among them, his natural beauty unlike any other.His divine robe of rainbow colors flashed through heaven; at his waist hung a register of immortality.This was the Barefoot Immortal, coming to celebrate at the Peach Banquet.
Wukong plotted to deceive him and take his place. “Where are you going, elder?” “The Queen Mother invited me to the Peach Banquet.” “You haven't heard? The Jade Emperor sent me, since my cloud travels so quickly, to tell all the guests to pay respects first in the Hall of Pervading Light, then go to the feast.” The upright immortal believed him. “In previous years we gave thanks at the Jade Pool itself. Why change the practice?” Nevertheless he turned his cloud toward the Hall of Pervading Light.
Wukong changed into the Barefoot Immortal and traveled to the Jade Pool. He landed beside the jeweled pavilion and stepped softly inside. He saw:
Jade fragrance curled through the air and auspicious mists mingled. Colored ornaments covered the jade terrace; the jeweled pavilion sent out fragrant vapors. Phoenixes and luan birds seemed to soar; golden flowers and jade petals shimmered. There stood a crimson nine-phoenix screen, purple rainbow seats of eight treasures, gilded tables in five colors, and blue-jade basins of a thousand flowers. On the tables lay dragon livers and phoenix marrow, bear paws and orangutan lips. A hundred rare delicacies delighted the eye, with fresh exotic fruits and savory dishes of every kind.
Everything was set in order, but no guests had arrived.
As the Great Sage examined it, the fragrance of wine reached him. Under a long gallery stood immortal brewers and workers handling the mash, with water carriers and fire-tending boys washing vats and jars. They had brewed fragrant wines and jade nectar. Wukong's mouth watered, but the workers stood in the way. He chewed a few hairs, spat them out, and cried “Change!” They became drowsiness bugs that alighted on the workers' faces. Arms slackening and heads drooping, they laid down their tools and slept. Wukong took dishes of every flavor and delicacy into the gallery and drank freely from jar after jar until he was drunk. “Trouble,” he thought. “The guests will come soon and blame me. What if they catch me? I'd better sleep it off at home.”
Drunk and unsteady, the Great Sage took the wrong road and came to Tushita Palace instead of his own residence. “This is the Supreme Lord Lao's home in the Heaven Beyond Resentment, above the thirty-three heavens. I've long wanted to visit him; I might as well do it now.” He straightened his robe and entered, but found no one. The Supreme Lord was teaching the ancient Buddha Dipankara on the third-floor Cinnabar Terrace, with every immortal boy, officer, and guard in attendance. In the elixir chamber Wukong saw a fire burning in the furnace and five gourds beside it, each holding refined golden elixir. “The most precious of immortal treasures! Since attaining the Way I've learned the unity of inner and outer cultivation and wanted to refine elixirs to help others, but had no leisure. With Lao absent, I'll taste a few.” He emptied all five gourds and ate the pills like roasted beans.
The elixirs sobered him. “This crime is bigger than heaven! If the Jade Emperor finds out, my life is over. I'd better return to earth and be king.” He fled through the Western Gate of Heaven under a spell of invisibility and descended to Mount Flower-Fruit. Banners fluttered and weapons flashed as the four commanders and seventy-two cave kings drilled their troops. “Children, I'm back!” The monsters dropped their weapons and bowed. “You left us for such a long time!” “Not long at all.”
The commanders escorted him into the cave. “What office have you held through those hundred years in heaven?” “It's only been six months!” “One day in heaven is one year here.” “The Jade Emperor gave me the title Great Sage Equal to Heaven, built me a residence with two offices, Peaceful Quiet and Tranquil Spirit, and later put me in charge of the Peach Garden. But the Queen Mother didn't invite me to her banquet, so I went to the Jade Pool on my own and ate and drank her immortal delicacies and wine. Leaving there drunk, I wandered into Supreme Lord Lao's palace and ate five gourds of his golden elixir. Fearing the Emperor's wrath, I've returned to earth.”
The monsters celebrated and served fruit and wine. Wukong took one sip of coconut wine and grimaced. “This tastes dreadful!” Generals Beng and Ba said: “After the delicacies and wine of heaven, our coconut wine can't compare. But as they say, ‘The best water is the water of home.’” “And the closest people are those of home,” answered the Great Sage. “This morning I saw many jars of jade nectar beneath the Jade Pool's gallery. Since you never tasted it, I'll bring some back so each of you can drink half a cup and live forever.” The monkeys rejoiced.
The Great Sage somersaulted back to the Jade Pool under a cloak of invisibility. The brewers and attendants still slept. He tucked two great jars under his arms, took two in his hands, and flew home. There he held an immortal wine feast in the cave and everyone drank several cups.
After a full day the seven maidens broke free of the spell and returned with their baskets. “The Great Sage immobilized us, Queen Mother, which is why we are late.” “How many peaches did you gather?” “Two baskets of small peaches and three of medium ones. Not a single large ripe peach remained; he must have eaten them. While we were searching, he appeared, threatened us, and asked who was invited. We told him the custom of earlier banquets, and he froze us in place. We have only just escaped.”
The Queen Mother informed the Jade Emperor. As she spoke, the brewers reported that someone had wrecked the banquet and stolen its wine and delicacies. Four Celestial Masters announced the Supreme Lord Lao, who arrived and bowed. “I had refined nine-times-transmuted golden elixir for an Elixir Festival honoring Your Majesty, but a thief stole it.” The Emperor was alarmed. The Great Sage's clerks then reported: “Sun Wukong has been missing since yesterday.” The Barefoot Immortal arrived: “On my way to the Queen Mother's banquet, the Great Sage told me Your Majesty had ordered everyone to gather first in the Hall of Pervading Light to pay respects. I went there, saw no imperial carriage, and have come to await you.” “He forged my orders to deceive you!” the Emperor cried. “Send the divine inspector to find him.”
The inspector investigated and reported that the Great Sage Equal to Heaven had committed every offense. The enraged Emperor ordered the Four Heavenly Kings, Heavenly King Li, and Nezha to assemble the Twenty-Eight Mansions, Nine Luminaries, Twelve Year Gods, Five Direction Guardians, Four Duty Officers, stars of east and west, gods of north and south, gods of the Five Mountains and Four Rivers, and all the constellations: 100,000 heavenly soldiers. They were to deploy eighteen nets across heaven and earth, besiege Mount Flower-Fruit, capture Wukong, and punish him.
The gods departed from heaven with their armies. See them go:
Yellow winds rolled, darkening heaven; purple mists rose, veiling earth. A demon monkey had defied the Emperor, and all the holy powers descended. The Four Heavenly Kings commanded, the Five Direction Guardians mustered troops. Pagoda-Bearing Li directed the center; fierce Nezha led the vanguard. Rahu inspected the front and Ketu followed behind. Moon Star stood alert, Sun Star shone brightly. The stars of the five elements showed heroic might; the Nine Luminaries eagerly entered the contest. The twelve Year Gods were mighty guards. Plague Gods and Mountain Gods took the flanks, and the Six Ding and Six Jia ranged to either side. Dragon gods of the Four Rivers formed upper and lower ranks; the Twenty-Eight Mansions crowded close. Horn, Neck, Root, and Chamber took command, with Legs, Bond, Stomach, and Hairy Head racing forth. Dipper, Ox, Girl, Emptiness, Roof, House, and Wall were capable fighters, as were Heart, Tail, and Winnowing Basket. Well, Ghost, Willow, Star, Extended Net, Wings, and Chariot brandished swords and spears. They descended through clouds and mist to pitch camp before Mount Flower-Fruit.
The poem says:
The heaven-born Monkey King has countless transformations; he stole elixir and wine to feast on his mountain.Because he disrupted the Peach Banquet, a hundred thousand heavenly troops spread their nets.
Heavenly King Li ordered the troops to encircle Mount Flower-Fruit completely and deploy eighteen nets above and below. The Nine Luminaries advanced first to Water Curtain Cave, where monkeys played outside. “Little demons, where is your Great Sage? Heaven sends us to subdue your rebel master. Tell him to surrender or you will all be killed!” The monkeys hurried inside. “Great Sage, disaster! Nine fierce gods from heaven are here to capture you.”
Wukong was drinking immortal wine with the seventy-two cave kings and four commanders. “Drink today while we have wine; never mind the quarrel outside,” he said. A second messenger reported the gods were cursing him at the gate. “Ignore them. Enjoy poetry and wine today, and let future glory wait.” Then another cried: “Grandfather, they've broken down the gate and are killing their way inside!” Wukong raged. “I was willing to leave those petty gods alone, but now they've attacked my home!” He ordered the one-horned demon kings to lead the seventy-two cave kings against them, with himself and the four commanders behind. The Nine Luminaries drove the demon army back to the iron bridge.
“Make way!” cried the Great Sage. He enlarged his staff to a bowl's thickness and twelve feet long and charged. The Nine Luminaries fell back. “You reckless Bimawen! You've committed grievous crimes: stealing peaches, wine, and the Supreme Lord's elixir, disrupting the banquet, and bringing imperial wine here!” “All true,” laughed the Great Sage. “What will you do about it?” “We come by imperial order to arrest you. Surrender or we'll flatten the mountain and overturn the cave.” “What power have you petty gods to make such threats? Take this!” Wukong swung his staff, blocking attacks on both sides until the nine grew exhausted and fled to Heavenly King Li. “He fights too fiercely. We could not defeat him.”
Li sent the Four Heavenly Kings and Twenty-Eight Mansions to fight. The Great Sage summoned the one-horned demon kings, seventy-two cave kings, and four commanders to form ranks outside the cave. What a terrifying battle:
Cold winds howled and strange fog darkened the air. Bright flags flew on one side; shining weapons flashed on the other. Helmets gleamed like silver chimes striking heaven, and layers of armor rose like icy mountains weighing on earth. Great swords flashed through cloud and lightning; pale spears pierced the mist. Halberds and tiger-eyed whips stood thick as a hemp field, bronze swords and crescent spades close as a grove. Bows, crossbows, and feathered arrows; short clubs and snake-headed lances: all thirsted for the fight. The Great Sage's staff moved back and forth against the heavenly gods. No bird flew overhead, and wolves and tigers fled the hills. Sand and stones darkened heaven and earth, dust and soil covered the world. The clash of arms shook heaven; the fierce shouts roused ghosts and gods.
They formed ranks at the dragon hour and fought until sunset. The heavenly gods captured both one-horned demon kings and all seventy-two cave kings. Only the four commanders and the monkeys escaped deep into Water Curtain Cave.
The Great Sage alone held off the Four Heavenly Kings, Li, and Nezha in the sky. At dusk he chewed and spat out a handful of hairs, crying “Change!” Hundreds of Great Sages, each wielding a staff, drove Nezha and the five heavenly kings back.
Victorious, Wukong reclaimed his hairs and returned to the cave. The commanders and monkeys met him at the iron bridge, sobbing three times and laughing three times. “Why both weep and laugh?” “We weep because the gods captured the cave kings and one-horned kings, and we fled. We laugh because you returned unharmed and victorious.” “Victory and defeat are common in war. As the saying goes, ‘Kill ten thousand enemies, lose three thousand of your own.’ The captured chiefs were wolves, tigers, leopards, badgers, foxes, and the like; not one of our kind was hurt. Why mourn? The gods will camp below our mountain, though my doubles drove them back. Guard the cave, eat well, and sleep. At dawn I'll show you a great power, capture the heavenly generals, and avenge our friends.” They drank coconut wine and went to bed.
The Four Heavenly Kings withdrew their troops and counted their prisoners: tigers, leopards, lions, elephants, wolves, foxes, and others, but not a single monkey. They camped below the mountain, rewarded successful captors, and ordered the net guards to ring their bells and call their watches, keeping Mount Flower-Fruit enclosed until the next day's battle.
The demon monkey's rebellion shook heaven and earth; nets were spread and guarded day and night.
What happened at dawn? Listen to the next chapter to find out.
Plain English translation
Mouseia’s complete Plain English edition, made independently and directly from the Chinese, covering all 100 chapters and 3,782 source paragraphs of the Traditional Chinese text.
The Great Sage Wrecks the Peach Banquet and Steals the Elixir; He Defies the Heavenly Palace, and the Gods Move to Seize the Monster
The story goes that the Great Sage Equal to Heaven was, after all, a demon monkey. He understood nothing of ranks and grades of office and did not care whether his pay was high or low; to have his name written down was enough. The immortal clerks of the two bureaus under the Mansion of the Equal-to-Heaven Sage waited on him morning and evening, and he asked only for three meals a day and a couch at night, with nothing to bind him, free and easy. In his spare hours he made friends and toured the palaces, gathered comrades and swore brotherhood. He greeted the Three Pure Ones with an "Elder," and to the Four Sovereigns he said "Your Majesty." With the Nine Luminaries, the generals of the five quarters, the twenty-eight mansions, the Four Great Heavenly Kings, the twelve hour-lords, the Five Ancients of the Five Quarters, the stars of all heaven, and the gods of the River of Heaven he dealt only as brother with brother, each calling the other by name. Today he roamed east, tomorrow he wandered west, off on the clouds and back on the clouds, never long in one place.
One day at morning court the True Man Xu Jingyang stepped from the ranks, bowed his head, and reported: "Now this Great Sage Equal to Heaven idles and roams at his pleasure, making friends of all the stars of heaven, high and low alike. We fear trouble will grow out of his idleness. Better to give him some duty to look after, and so cut off other mischief." The Jade Emperor heard and issued the summons at once. The Monkey King came along cheerfully and said: "Your Majesty, has your summons come to promote and reward Old Sun?" The Jade Emperor said: "I see you with nothing to do, so I am giving you a duty: take charge of the Peach Garden for a while. Be careful and attentive, morning and evening." The Great Sage gladly thanked him for the grace, bowed toward the throne with a cry, and withdrew.
He could not wait to look the place over and went in at once to inspect the Peach Garden. The local earth god of the garden barred his way and asked: "Where is the Great Sage going?" The Great Sage said: "I am sent by the Jade Emperor's appointment to take charge of the Peach Garden, and I have come to inspect it." The earth god bowed quickly, called out the crews of tree-hoeing, water-carrying, peach-trimming, and sweeping grooms to come and knock their heads to the Great Sage, and led him in. Look at it:
Fresh and flaming, tree by tree; fruit-heavy, stock by stock. Fresh and flaming, the flowers fill the trees; fruit-heavy, stock by stock, the fruit bends the boughs. The fruit bends the boughs down in hanging silk balls; the flowers fill the trees in heaps of rouge. Now opening, now setting, they ripen over a thousand years; no summer, no winter, slow through ten thousand ages. The ripe ones wear the flushed face of the drunk; the unripe keep a green skin on the stem. Skin tinged green through the mist, showing red against the sun. Under the trees grow strange flowers and rare plants, fresh-colored alike in all four seasons; to left and right stand towers and lodges, with cloud and rainbow hanging over them in the sky forever. These are no common stock of some dark-town garden: the Queen Mother raised them herself by the Jade Pool.
The Great Sage looked and enjoyed for a long while, then asked the earth god: "How many trees are here?" The earth god said: "There are 3,600. In front, 1,200 trees with pale flowers and small fruit, ripening once in 3,000 years: whoever eats one becomes an immortal, finishes the Way, and his body grows light and well. In the middle, 1,200 trees with flowers on flowers and sweet fruit, ripening once in 6,000 years: whoever eats one rises on the rosy clouds and flies, living long and never aging. In back, 1,200 trees with purple-veined skin and yellow kernels, ripening once in 9,000 years: whoever eats one lives as long as heaven and earth, of one age with sun and moon." The Great Sage heard and was glad beyond bearing. That day he took stock of the trees, looked over the pavilions, and went back to his mansion. From then on he came every three or five days to enjoy the place. He made no friends and went nowhere else.
One day he saw that on the old trees more than half the peaches were ripe. He wanted to eat some and taste the new fruit, but the garden's earth god and grooms and the immortal clerks of his mansion followed him everywhere, which was awkward. Suddenly he made a plan: "All of you wait outside the gate, and let me rest a moment in this pavilion." The immortals drew back as told. The Monkey King took off his cap and robes, climbed the great tree, picked many of the ripest peaches, and sat in the branches enjoying himself at ease. When he had eaten his fill he jumped down, pinned on his cap and put on his robes, called his train, and returned to the mansion. Two or three days later he went again, managed to steal more peaches, and ate as he pleased.
One day the Queen Mother gave a feast. She threw open her precious pavilion and held the grand Peach Banquet in the Jade Pool. She ordered the fairies in red, in blue, in white, in black, in purple, in yellow, and in green, each with her flower basket, to go to the Peach Garden and pick peaches for the feast. The seven fairies came to the garden gate and found the earth god and the grooms of the Peach Garden, together with the immortal clerks of the two bureaus, all guarding the door. The fairies came up and said: "We bear the Queen Mother's command and have come to pick peaches for the feast." The earth god said: "Fair ladies, wait. This year is not like other years. The Jade Emperor has appointed the Great Sage Equal to Heaven to oversee the garden, and we must report to him before we dare open it." The fairies said: "Where is the Great Sage?" The earth god said: "The Great Sage is in the garden. He was tired and is asleep in the pavilion." The fairies said: "In that case, go and find him. We must not be late." The earth god went in with them. They searched to the flower pavilion and found no one — only his cap and robes lying in the pavilion. Where he had gone nobody knew, and search as they would they could not find him. The truth is that the Great Sage, after his fun and a few peaches, had changed into a little man two inches tall and was sleeping under the thick leaves at the top of the great tree. The seven fairies said: "We came on the Queen Mother's orders. If we cannot find the Great Sage, how dare we go back empty-handed?" An immortal servant beside them said: "Fair ladies, since you came on orders, do not delay. Our Great Sage is used to wandering at will; he must have gone out of the garden to meet friends. Go pick your peaches, and we will answer for you."
The fairies did as told and went under the trees to pick: first two baskets from the front trees, then three baskets from the middle trees. When they came to the back trees they saw the blossoms and fruit were thin there, only a few with furry stems and green skins — for the ripe ones had all been eaten by the Monkey King. The seven fairies looked east and west and saw on a south-facing branch one single peach, half red and half white. The blue fairy pulled the branch down with her hand, the red fairy picked the peach, and the branch was let spring back up.
Now the Great Sage had transformed himself and was asleep on that very branch, and they woke him. The Great Sage showed his true shape at once, pulled the gold-banded staff from his ear, shook it to a bowl's thickness, and cried out: "What monsters are you, bold enough to steal my peaches?" The seven fairies fell on their knees together in fright: "Great Sage, calm your anger. We are no monsters. We are the seven fairies sent by the Queen Mother to pick the immortal peaches for the great banquet in the precious pavilion. When we came just now, we first saw the garden's earth god and the other gods, and then looked for you and could not find you. We feared to be late for the Queen Mother's command, and so we could not wait for you and began picking. We beg you to forgive us." The Great Sage heard and turned his anger to cheerfulness: "Stand up, fair ladies. When the Queen Mother opens her pavilion and gives her feast, whom does she invite?" The fairies said: "The old rule of the feast is to invite the Buddhas, bodhisattvas, holy monks, and arhats of the Western Heaven; Guanyin of the southern pole; the Sacred Emperor Chong'en of the east and the immortal elders of the ten isles and three islands; the dark spirits of the northern pole; and the Great Immortal Huangjiao of the yellow pole at the center — these are the Five Ancients of the Five Quarters. Then the Star Lord of the Five Bushels; the Three Pure Ones, the Four Sovereigns, and the Taiyi immortals of the eight upper grottoes; the Jade Emperor, the gods of the nine ramparts, and the gods of sea and mountain of the eight middle grottoes; the lord of the dark world and the registered earthly immortals of the eight lower grottoes — and the honored gods big and little of every palace and hall, all coming together to the happy Peach Banquet." The Great Sage laughed: "Do they invite me?" The fairies said: "We have not heard so." The Great Sage said: "I am the Great Sage Equal to Heaven. What is to stop them from inviting Old Sun as the guest of honor?" The fairies said: "That is the old rule of the feast. What this year's rule will be, we do not know." The Great Sage said: "That is fair enough, and no blame to you. Stand here a moment while Old Sun goes to find out the news, and see whether they invite Old Sun or not."
Brave Great Sage: he pinched the sign and spoke a charm, and said to the fairies: "Stay! Stay! Stay!" It was the fixing art: the seven fairies stood one by one under the peach trees, staring and blinking, white-eyed, unable to move. The Great Sage leaped on a lucky cloud, jumped out of the garden, and made straight for the road to the Jade Pool. As he went he saw, away there:
A sky of lucky vapor, its light swaying; five-colored clouds flying without pause.The cry of white cranes rings through the nine marshes; purple fungus gleams, a thousand leaves wide.In their midst appears an immortal, his face natural, his bearing rare.His spirit dances rainbow-hued, shaking the sky; at his waist hangs the precious roll of life without birth or death.They call him the Barefoot Great Immortal, come especially to the Peach Banquet to grace the feast of long life.
The Barefoot Immortal met the Great Sage face to face. The Great Sage bent his head and made his plan to fool the true immortal, for he himself meant to slip into the feast secretly, and he asked: "Where are you going, old priest?" The immortal said: "The Queen Mother has summoned me to the happy Peach Banquet." The Great Sage said: "You do not know, old priest. Because Old Sun's somersault cloud is fast, the Jade Emperor has set Old Sun to invite you all by every road. You are first to go below the Hall of Bright Passing to rehearse the rites, and only then to the feast." The immortal was an open, upright man and took the lie for truth: "Year after year we have rehearsed the rites and given thanks at the Jade Pool. Why rehearse first at the Hall of Bright Passing and only then go to the banquet?" He had no choice: he turned his lucky cloud and went straight off to the Hall of Bright Passing.
The Great Sage rode his cloud, spoke a charm, shook himself, and changed into the very likeness of the Barefoot Immortal, and hurried to the Jade Pool. Before long he was at the precious pavilion. He checked his cloud, moved in softly, and walked inside. There he saw:
Jade perfumes curling everywhere; lucky vapor heaped in bright disorder. Silks spread over the Jade Terrace; the precious pavilion breathing fragrant air. Phoenixes soar and larks wheel, their shapes half seen; golden flowers and jade buds sway, their shadows rising and falling. On high stand the nine-phoenix screens of crimson dawn, the eight-treasure stools of purple mist, tables painted gold in five colors, jade-green basins with a thousand flowers. On the tables: dragon liver and phoenix marrow, bear paws and ape lips. Rare dishes in a hundred tastes, every one beautiful; strange fruits and fine meats, every kind new.
All was set out neat and orderly, and not one immortal had come.
The Great Sage could not take in all he saw, when suddenly a breath of wine smell struck his nose. He turned his head and saw, under the long gallery to the right, several immortal officers of the wine works and grooms of the press, with a few water-carrying Daoists and fire-tending pages, washing vats and scrubbing jars. The jade liquid and nectar, the fragrant brew and fine wine, were already made. The Great Sage could not hold back the drool at the corners of his mouth and wanted to drink; but all those people were there. So he used his power: he pulled out several hairs, chewed them fine in his mouth, sprayed them out, spoke a charm, and cried: "Change!" They became several sleep bugs and flew onto the faces of the crew. Look at them: arms gone soft and heads nodding, eyes shut and brows closed, dropping their tools, all off to their dozing. The Great Sage took some of the hundred tastes and eight delicacies, the fine meats and rare dishes, went inside the long gallery, set himself against the vats and jars, opened wide, and drank hard for a good while. When he had drunk his fill he was reeling drunk. He felt himself over and thought: "Not good, not good! In a little while the guests will come and will they not blame me? If they catch me, what then? Better to go back to the mansion early and sleep."
Brave Great Sage: swaying side to side, wine-bold, he blundered wherever his feet carried him. In a while he missed his road: it was not the Mansion of the Equal-to-Heaven Sage but the Tushita Palace. The sight of it woke him at once: "Tushita Palace is above the thirty-three heavens, in the Heaven of Parted Love, where the Supreme Lord Lao lives. How did I blunder here? Oh well, oh well. I have long wanted to call on this old gentleman and never managed it. Now that I have come this far, a visit will do no harm." He straightened his clothes and barged in. There was no Lord Lao, and not a soul anywhere. The truth is that the old lord and the ancient Buddha Ran Deng, the Lamp Lighter, were on the cinnabar terrace of the high third gallery, talking of the Way, with all the immortal pages, generals, officers, and clerks standing on either side listening. So the Great Sage went straight into the elixir room and found no one. By the elixir stove, in the furnace, a fire was burning, and beside the furnace stood five gourds, all full of finished golden elixir pills. The Great Sage was delighted: "This stuff is the treasure of treasures of the immortals. Since Old Sun finished the Way he has understood that what is inside and what is outside are one and the same, and he too wanted to refine some golden elixir to help people — but there was never time at home. Today it is my fate to run into the stuff. While the old gentleman is out, let me eat a few pills and taste something new." He tipped out the gourds, every one, and ate them all down like fried beans.
In a little while his stomach was full of elixir and the wine had gone out of him. He reasoned with himself again: "Not good, not good! This disaster is bigger than the sky. If the Jade Emperor is alarmed, I will not keep my life. Off, off, off — better to go down and be a king below." He ran out of the Tushita Palace, left the old road, and slipped out the West Gate of Heaven under the art of hiding. He brought his cloud down and was back in the bounds of Mount Flower-Fruit. There were the banners flashing and the spears and halberds gleaming: the four valiant captains and the demon kings of the seventy-two caves were drilling at arms. The Great Sage called out: "Little ones, I am home!" The monsters dropped their weapons and knelt: "Great Sage, how light your heart has been, leaving us so long without a word of care." The Great Sage said: "It was no time at all, no time at all."
Talking as they walked, they went straight into the deep places of the cave-heaven. The four valiant captains had swept and made ready his rest. After they knocked their heads and bowed, they all asked: "Great King, those hundred or ten years you were in heaven — what office did you really hold?" The Great Sage laughed: "I remember only about half a year. Where do you get a hundred years?" The captains said: "One day in heaven is a year below." The Great Sage said: "Well, this time the Jade Emperor took a liking to me. He truly sealed me Great Sage Equal to Heaven, built the Mansion of the Equal-to-Heaven Sage, and set up the two bureaus, Quietude and Settled Spirit, with immortal clerks and guards to serve. Later, seeing me idle, he set me to keep the Peach Garden. Lately the Queen Mother held the grand Peach Banquet and did not invite me. So, without waiting to be asked, I went to the Jade Pool first and ate up his immortal dishes and immortal wine. Out of the Jade Pool I staggered, and blundered into the old lord's palace by mistake, and ate up his five gourds of golden elixir as well. I was afraid the Jade Emperor would call me to account, so I came out the gate of heaven just now."
The monsters heard and were overjoyed. Wine and fruit were set out at once to welcome him, and a stone bowl was filled brimming with coconut wine and offered up. The Great Sage took one mouthful, grimaced and twisted his mouth: "Not good, not good." The two generals Beng and Ba said: "Great Sage, you have been drinking immortal wine and eating immortal dishes in the Heavenly Palace, so coconut wine does not please your mouth. The saying goes: 'Sweet or not, it is the water of home.'" The Great Sage said: "And yours is 'Kin or not, they are the people of home.' This morning at the Jade Pool, while I was enjoying myself, I saw many bottles and jars under the long gallery, all full of jade liquid and nectar. You have never tasted it. Wait while I go and steal a few bottles back, and each of you drinks half a cup — then every one of you will live long and never grow old." The monkeys were glad beyond measure.
The Great Sage went out the cave door, turned another somersault, used the hiding art, and came straight back to the Peach Banquet. He went into the palace of the Jade Pool and found the wine makers, press grooms, water carriers, and fire tenders still snoring, not yet awake. He tucked two of the big bottles under his arms, carried two in his hands, swung his cloud around, and came back to the troop of monkeys in the cave. They held a banquet of immortal wine, drank several cups each, and were happy — but no more of that.
Now the seven fairies, held by the Great Sage's fixing art, were stuck for a full turn of the sky before it came loose. Each took up her basket, went back, and reported to the Queen Mother: "The Great Sage Equal to Heaven caught us in his magic art, and that is why we are late." The Queen Mother asked: "How many peaches did you pick?" The fairies said: "Only two baskets of small peaches and three of middle ones. In the back there was not half a big peach. We think the Great Sage stole and ate them all. While we were looking for him, he suddenly came out at us, violent, and beat us, and asked who was invited to the feast. We told him the business of the feast, and he fixed us where we stood and went off, nobody knows where. Only now have we come loose and got back."
The Queen Mother heard and went at once to see the Jade Emperor and told him the whole story. Before she finished, the wine crew and the immortal officers came in to report: "Some unknown person has wrecked the grand Peach Banquet and stolen the jade liquid and nectar; the eight delicacies and hundred tastes have all been eaten up too." Then the four great celestial masters came up to report: "The Supreme Ancestor of the Way is here." The Jade Emperor went out with the Queen Mother to meet him. The old lord paid his respects and said: "In my palace I had refined some nine-times-turned golden elixir, kept ready for your Majesty's Assembly of the Elixir Origin. A thief has stolen it, and I have come to tell your Majesty." The Jade Emperor heard and was shaken. Soon the immortal clerks of the Mansion of the Equal-to-Heaven Sage came knocking their heads: "Great Sage Sun does not keep to his post. He went off yesterday on his travels and has not come back to this hour, and no one knows where he is." Fresh doubts piled on the Jade Emperor's thoughts. Then the Barefoot Immortal bowed his head and reported: "Your servant had the Queen Mother's summons and set out for the feast yesterday. On the way I met the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, who told me your Majesty had ordered him to invite us all to rehearse the rites first below the Hall of Bright Passing before going to the feast. Your servant followed his words, turned back to the Hall of Bright Passing, and found neither your Majesty's dragon carriage nor phoenix chair. So I hurried here to wait on you." The Jade Emperor's shock doubled: "This fellow forged an edict to fool a worthy minister. Quickly send the Spirit Officer of Rectification to trace where he has gone."
The Spirit Officer took the edict, went out of the hall, searched everywhere, learned every detail, and reported back: "The one who wrecked the Heavenly Palace is the Great Sage Equal to Heaven." And he told the whole story besides. The Jade Emperor raged, and at once dispatched the Four Great Heavenly Kings, with Heavenly King Li and prince Nezha, to muster the twenty-eight mansions, the nine Luminaries, the twelve hour-lords, the guardians of the five quarters, the duty officers of the four watches, the stars east and west, the two gods of south and north, the five peaks and four rivers, and all the stars of heaven: 100,000 heavenly soldiers in all, drawn out in eighteen layers of net across heaven and earth, to go down, surround Mount Flower-Fruit, and be sure to take the fellow and deal with him.
The gods marched at once and left the Heavenly Palace. This going out — look at it:
Yellow wind rolls and rolls and darkens the sky; purple mist boils and boils and dims the earth. All because a demon monkey insulted the Lord on High, the host of saints comes down to the dusty world. The Four Great Heavenly Kings and the guardians of the five quarters: the Four Great Kings hold the general command; the guardians of the five quarters move the many troops. Li the Pagoda Bearer leads the center and gives the signal; fierce Nezha is the vanguard of the front. The star Rahu heads the inspection; the star Ketu follows grim and grand. The moon-star is brisk and full of fight; the sun-star shines clear and bright. The five planets make the boldest heroes; the nine Luminaries love nothing better than a quarrel. The hour-lords of zi, wu, mao, and you — every one a soldier of great strength. The five plagues and five peaks are ranged east and west; the six Dings and six Jias march on either hand. The dragon gods of the four rivers divide above and below; the twenty-eight mansions stand rank on rank. Jiao, Kang, Di, and Fang are the chief commanders; Kui, Lou, Wei, and Mao are old hands at tumbling and turning. Dou, Niu, Nü, Xu, Wei, Shi, and Bi; Xin, Wei, and Ji, every one can fight. Jing, Gui, Liu, Xing, Zhang, Yi, and Zhen swing spears and wave swords and show their power. They check the clouds, drop the fog, and come down to the world of men, and pitch their camp in front of Mount Flower-Fruit.
The poem says:
The monkey king, born of heaven, is rich in changes; he stole the elixir, stole the wine, and lolled in his mountain nest.Only because he wrecked the Peach Banquet do 100,000 heavenly soldiers spread the net.
Heavenly King Li gave his orders; the soldiers pitched camp, and Mount Flower-Fruit was fenced so tight that water could not leak through, with the eighteen layers of net spread above and below. First he sent out the nine fierce Luminaries to give battle. They took their troops straight to outside the cave and saw the monkeys, big and little, jumping and playing. The star officers called in loud voices: "You little demons, where is your Great Sage? We are gods of the upper world sent down with orders, come to subdue your rebel Great Sage. Tell him to come out quickly and surrender. Say half a word of refusal, and every one of you dies." The little demons hurried the word in: "Great Sage, disaster! Disaster! Outside are nine fierce gods who say they are sent from the upper world to take your surrender."
The Great Sage was just sharing out the immortal wine with the demon kings of the seventy-two caves and the four valiant captains. At the report he paid it no attention at all: "There is wine today, so drink today, and let the quarrel at the gate look after itself." Before he finished, another band of little demons came leaping in: "Those nine fierce gods are bawling foul words at the gate and daring us to fight." The Great Sage laughed: "Pay them no mind. Poetry and wine will serve for today's joy; ask nothing about when fame will come." He was still speaking when another band of little demons came to report: "Your Majesty! The nine fierce gods have broken down the gate and are fighting their way in." The Great Sage flared up: "These scruffy little gods are too insolent. I was not going to bother with them — and now they come to my own door to bully me?" He ordered the One-Horned Demon Kings: "Lead the demon kings of the seventy-two caves out to battle. Old Sun will follow with the four valiant captains." The demon kings hurried their demon troops out the door to meet them, but the nine fierce Luminaries bore down on them together, pinned them at the iron-plated bridgehead, and they could not break out.
In the middle of the uproar the Great Sage arrived, crying: "Open the way!" He whipped out the iron staff, shook it to a bowl's thickness and a full zhang and two in length, threw open his stance, and fought his way out. Not one of the nine Luminaries dared stand against him, and he beat them back in a moment. They held their line and said: "You Keeper of Horses, you who do not know death when it stares at you! You have committed the ten abominations: first you stole the peaches, then you stole the wine, you wrecked the grand Peach Banquet, you robbed the old lord's elixir, and you carried off the imperial wine to drink and make merry here. Crime upon crime — do you not know it?" The Great Sage laughed: "Those charges are true, every one. And now, what of it?" The nine Luminaries said: "We bear the Jade Emperor's golden edict and have brought our host to take your surrender. Submit quickly, and spare these living creatures their lives. If not, we will level this mountain flat and turn this cave over." The Great Sage raged: "You scruffy little gods — what power have you, that you dare spout such bragging? Do not run. Take one blow of Old Sun's staff." All nine Luminaries leaped at him together; the Handsome Monkey King did not flinch a hair. He swung the gold-banded staff, warding left and blocking right, and fought them until their sinews failed and their arms went soft. One by one they dragged their weapons behind them and fled the field, rushing into the tent of the central army to tell the Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King: "That Monkey King is truly brave past measure. We could not stand against him, and we have lost the field."
Heavenly King Li at once called out the Four Great Heavenly Kings and the twenty-eight mansions, and they marched out together to give battle. The Great Sage did not turn a hair. He called out the One-Horned Demon Kings, the demon kings of the seventy-two caves, and the four valiant captains, and drew them up in order of battle outside the cave gate. Look at this melee — how dreadful it was:
Cold wind whistles; strange fog lies black. On that side, banners fly in colors; on this side, spears and halberds throw back light. Helmet upon helmet shining, armor on armor bright. Helmet shining on helmet answers the sun, like silver chimes struck against the sky; armor bright on armor piles the cliffs, like ice mountains pressing the earth. Great-hafted sabers fly like clouds and flash like lightning; white-shafted spears cross the fog and pierce the clouds. Square-mouthed halberds and tiger-eye whips stand ranked like a thick wood; bronze swords and four-light spades draw up like a close-set grove. Bent bows and stiff crossbows, arrows with carved feathers; short staves and snake spears that carry off the soul. The Great Sage with one As-You-Will staff turns and doubles, fighting the gods of heaven. The killing leaves the sky without a passing bird; in the hills tigers and wolves run mad. Sand flies and stones roll, and heaven and earth go black; earth is flung and dust rides, and the universe grows dim. Nothing is heard but the crash and thud that startle heaven and earth, the roar and blare that shake the ghosts and gods.
From the drawing up of the lines at the chen hour the melee raged to sundown behind the western hills. The One-Horned Demon Kings and the demons of the seventy-two caves were all taken prisoner by the gods of heaven. Only the four valiant captains and the troop of monkeys escaped, hidden deep at the bottom of Water Curtain Cave.
The Great Sage, with that one staff of his, held off the four great heavenly kings and Li the Pagoda Bearer and prince Nezha, all of them, up in mid-air, and fought a long while. Seeing the light fail, he plucked a handful of hairs, threw them in his mouth, chewed them fine, sprayed them out, and cried: "Change!" They became hundreds and thousands of Great Sages, every one wielding the gold-banded staff. They beat back prince Nezha and put five heavenly kings to rout.
Victorious, the Great Sage gathered in his hairs, whipped around, and hurried back to the cave. At the iron-plated bridge the four valiant captains were already leading the troop to knock their heads in welcome; the whole company sobbed aloud three times, then burst out laughing three times. The Great Sage said: "You see me and cry and laugh both. Why?" The four captains said: "This morning we led the troop against the heavenly king, and the demon kings of the seventy-two caves and the One-Horned Demon Kings were all taken by the gods, and we ran for our lives — so we cried. Now we see the Great Sage home in victory and without a scratch — so we laughed." The Great Sage said: "Win or lose is the common lot of soldiers. The ancients say: 'For ten thousand of the enemy killed, three thousand of your own are lost.' Besides, the headmen they captured were tigers, leopards, wolves, and serpents, badgers, river deer, foxes, and pole cats of that sort. Not one of my own kind is hurt — why be troubled? I drove them off with the art of the divided body, but they will make their camp at the foot of our mountain all the same. Let us hold the defense close, eat our fill, sleep sound, and get back our strength. At daylight, watch me use some great power, take these generals of heaven captive, and get revenge for everyone." The four captains and the monkeys drank a few bowls of coconut wine and went to sleep easy — but no more of that.
The Four Great Heavenly Kings called off the troops and ended the day's fighting, and the men came in one after another to report their captures: some had taken tigers and leopards, some lions and elephants, some wolves, serpents, foxes, and pole cats. But not one monkey spirit did they take. They pitched the main camp and laid out the great fort, rewarded the officers who had won merit, and gave orders to the soldiers of the net of heaven and earth: every man to ring his bell and cry his watch-word, fencing Mount Flower-Fruit in, and waiting only for the great battle at dawn. Everyone took his orders and kept his post. Truly:
The demon monkey's rebellion has startled heaven and earth; the net is spread, the snare set, watched night and day.
What would be done when daylight came? Listen to the next chapter to find out.