Book 3, Chapter 24

“Is poverty the subject? Many poor people who bear it patiently are recalled. Is it disregard for office? Many who have held no office are brought forward, and who are happier precisely for that reason. The lives of those who preferred private leisure to public business are praised by name; nor is that anapestic passage of the mightiest king left unmentioned, in which he praises an old man and calls him fortunate because he will reach his last day without glory and without fame.

58 “In the same way, examples are recalled of parents bereaved of children, and the mourning of those who take their loss harder is softened by the examples of others. Thus the endurance of others makes what has happened seem far smaller than it was judged to be. Gradually, as we reflect, it becomes clear how much opinion has falsified. This too is what Telamon’s words declare—‘When I fathered them […]’—and Theseus’—‘I pondered to myself the miseries to come’—and Anaxagoras’—‘I knew I had fathered a mortal.’ For all of these, through long reflection on human affairs, understood that they were by no means to be feared in accordance with popular opinion. Indeed, it seems to me that much the same happens to those who reflect beforehand as to those whom time heals, except that a process of reasoning heals the former, and nature herself the latter. They grasp the essential point: that the evil they supposed to be the greatest is by no means so great as to overthrow a happy life.

59 “What follows, then, is that an unexpected event strikes a greater blow, not—as they think—that when two people meet with equal misfortunes, only the one to whom it came unexpectedly is distressed.

“Accordingly, some mourners are said to have taken their grief even harder when they heard of this common human condition: that we are born under a law which allows no one to remain forever free of evil.”

“Take a discussion of poverty: it recalls plenty of poor people who endure it. Or take a discussion of disregarding public office: it produces many people who never held office and were happier precisely because of that. People who chose the quiet of private life over public business have their lives praised individually, by name. We also hear those anapestic verses from a king of immense power. He congratulates the old man, calling him lucky to be destined to end his days without glory, unknown to the world.

58 “Bereavement is treated similarly, with examples of parents who lost children. Those who struggle more with their loss find their mourning eased by other people’s cases. Seeing what others endure makes their own experience appear much smaller than they imagined. Little by little, reflection exposes the falsehood in that estimate. Telamon’s words show it too: ‘When I fathered them […].’ So do Theseus’ ‘I used to think over future miseries to myself,’ and Anaxagoras’ ‘I knew I’d fathered a mortal.’ Long thought about human affairs had taught them all that these things weren’t nearly as frightening as common opinion made them. To my mind, preparing in advance does much the same for someone as the passing days do for others. Reason cures one group; nature on its own cures the other. Both discover the essential fact: what they had imagined a tremendous evil falls far short of being able to overturn happiness.

59 “So it follows that being unprepared makes the blow harder. It doesn’t follow, as the Cyrenaics think, that when two people suffer similar misfortunes, only the one who didn’t expect it feels distress.

“That’s why some people are said to have grieved even more deeply after hearing about this shared human condition: we’re born on the terms that no one can remain free of trouble forever.”