Book 3, Chapter 27

64 “In their pain they do all these things because they think them right, proper, and owed. That they act from a kind of judgment of duty is especially clear from this: if people who wish to remain in mourning happen to have done something more natural, or spoken rather cheerfully, they call themselves back to sadness and accuse themselves of wrongdoing for having interrupted their grief. Mothers and teachers even punish children, not only with words but with blows, if they have done or said anything cheerful during mourning at home, and force them to weep. What of this? Once mourning itself has eased and it is understood that grieving achieves nothing, does the fact not show that the whole thing was voluntary?

65 “What of Terence’s ‘self-tormentor’—that is what the Greek title means? “‘I have decided I do my son less wrong, “‘Chremes, so long as I make myself miserable.’ “Here he decides to be miserable. Does anyone decide anything against his will? ‘I would think myself deserving of every evil—’ He thinks himself deserving of evil unless he is miserable. You see, then, that the evil lies in opinion, not in nature. What of those whom circumstances themselves forbid to mourn? In Homer the daily slaughter and deaths of many bring a quieting of grief. He says: “‘For we see too many falling, and on every day, “‘For anyone to find a respite from mourning. “‘All the more must we commit the dead to their graves “‘With steadfast hearts, and end our grief with one day’s tears.’

66 “So it is in your power to cast off pain when you wish, in obedience to the needs of the moment. Or is there any moment whose demands we should not obey for the sake of laying aside care <and> distress, since this is indeed within our power? It was established that those who saw Gnaeus Pompey falling under his wounds, even amid that most bitter and miserable spectacle, feared for themselves because they saw the enemy fleet surrounding them, and did nothing then but urge on the rowers and seek safety in flight. After they reached Tyre, they began to beat their breasts and lament. Could fear drive distress out of them, then, while reason cannot drive it out of a wise man?”

64 “People in pain do all this thinking it’s right, proper, and required. There’s a particularly clear sign that they act on a judgment of supposed duty. If people who want to be in mourning happen to do something more natural or speak a little more cheerfully, they pull themselves back into sadness and accuse themselves of wrongdoing because they stopped grieving. Mothers and teachers even punish children, not just with words but with blows, if they’ve said or done anything too cheerful while the household is in mourning. They force them to cry. And what about when grief itself eases and people realize that mourning achieves nothing? Doesn’t that show the whole thing was voluntary?

65 “Consider the man in Terence’s Self-Tormentor, or Heauton Timoroumenos: “‘Here’s my decision: I’m doing less wrong to my son, “‘Chremes, while I make myself miserable.’ “His misery is a decision. Can a decision be against the decider’s will? ‘I’d count myself fit for any suffering—’ Unless he’s miserable, he thinks he deserves suffering. So the evil belongs to his belief, you see, not to nature. Then there are situations that leave no room for mourning. Homer describes daily killing and great numbers of deaths bringing grief to a halt: “‘Too many fall before our eyes, and on every day, “‘For any of us to be able to go without mourning. “‘All the more reason to bury those killed “‘Steadfastly, and finish mourning with the tears of a day.’

66 “Then we can dismiss pain when we want, by responding to circumstances. If it’s under our control, why ever fail to respond to a situation that calls for us to lay anxiety and distress aside? We know what happened to the witnesses of Gnaeus Pompey’s collapse under his wounds. Even before that most horrible and wretched sight they were frightened for their own lives: an enemy fleet surrounded them. At that moment they did nothing except spur the rowers on and seek safety in escape. Their beating of themselves and lamenting began only on arrival in Tyre. If fear was able to keep distress out in their case, can’t reason do it in someone wise?”