Voltaire · Complete work
Chapter XV
Chapter XV of 30. Read it here for reference, or continue through the entire work without leaving the reader.
Open the complete readerOriginal French
Comment Candide tua le frère de sa chère Cunégonde.
J’aurai toute ma vie présent à la mémoire le jour horrible où je vis tuer mon père et ma mère, et violer ma soeur. Quand les Bulgares furent retirés, on ne trouva point cette soeur adorable, et on mit dans une charrette ma mère, mon père, et moi, deux servantes et trois petits garçons égorgés, pour nous aller enterrer dans une chapelle de jésuites, à deux lieues du château de mes pères. Un jésuite nous jeta de l’eau bénite; elle était horriblement salée; il en entra quelques gouttes dans mes yeux: le père s’aperçut que ma paupière fesait un petit mouvement: il mit la main sur mon coeur, et le sentit palpiter; je fus secouru, et au bout de trois semaines il n’y paraissait pas. Vous savez, mon cher Candide, que j’étais fort joli; je le devins encore davantage; aussi le révérend père Croust, supérieur de la maison, prit pour moi la plus tendre amitié: il me donna l’habit de novice: quelque temps après je fus envoyé à Rome. Le père général avait besoin d’une recrue de jeunes jésuites allemands. Les souverains du Paraguai reçoivent le moins qu’ils peuvent de jésuites espagnols; ils aiment mieux les étrangers, dont ils se croient plus maîtres. Je fus jugé propre par le révérend père général pour aller travailler dans cette vigne. Nous partîmes, un Polonais, un Tyrolien, et moi. Je fus honoré, en arrivant, du sous-diaconat et d’une lieutenance: je suis aujourd’hui colonel et prêtre. Nous recevrons vigoureusement les troupes du roi d’Espagne; je vous réponds qu’elles seront excommuniées et battues. La Providence vous envoie ici pour nous seconder. Mais est-il bien vrai que ma chère soeur Cunégonde soit dans le voisinage, chez le gouverneur de Buénos-Ayres? Candide l’assura par serment que rien n’était plus vrai. Leurs larmes recommencèrent à couler.
Le baron ne pouvait se lasser d’embrasser Candide; il l’appelait son frère, son sauveur. Ah! peut-être, lui dit-il, nous pourrons ensemble, mon cher Candide, entrer en vainqueurs dans la ville, et reprendre ma soeur Cunégonde. C’est tout ce que je souhaite, dit Candide; car je comptais l’épouser, et je l’espère encore. Vous, insolent! répondit le baron, vous auriez l’impudence d’épouser ma soeur qui a soixante et douze quartiers! Je vous trouve bien effronté d’oser me parler d’un dessein si téméraire! Candide, pétrifié d’un tel discours, lui répondit: Mon révérend père, tous les quartiers du monde n’y font rien; j’ai tiré votre soeur des bras d’un Juif et d’un inquisiteur; elle m’a assez d’obligations, elle veut m’épouser. Maître Pangloss m’a toujours dit que les hommes sont égaux; et assurément je l’épouserai. C’est ce que nous verrons, coquin! dit le jésuite baron de Thunder-ten-tronckh; et en même temps il lui donna un grand coup du plat de son épée sur le visage. Candide dans l’instant tire la sienne, et l’enfonce jusqu’à la garde dans le ventre du baron jésuite; mais en la retirant toute fumante, il se mit à pleurer: Hélas! mon Dieu! dit-il, j’ai tué mon ancien maître, mon ami, mon beau-frère; je suis le meilleur homme du monde, et voilà déjà trois hommes que je tue; et dans ces trois il y a deux prêtres.
Cacambo, qui fesait sentinelle à la porte de la feuillée, accourut. Il ne nous reste qu’à vendre cher notre vie, lui dit son maître; on va, sans doute, entrer dans la feuillée; il faut mourir les armes à la main. Cacambo, qui en avait bien vu d’autres, ne perdit point la tête; il prit la robe de jésuite que portait le baron, la mit sur le corps de Candide, lui donna le bonnet carré du mort, et le fit monter à cheval. Tout cela se fit en un clin d’oeil. Galopons, mon maître; tout le monde vous prendra pour un jésuite qui va donner des ordres; et nous aurons passé les frontières avant qu’on puisse courir après nous. Il volait déjà en prononçant ces paroles, et en criant en espagnol: Place, place pour le révérend père colonel!
Musean translation
Mouseia’s complete machine-assisted Musean translation, made directly from the French text of all thirty chapters (Beuchot edition, 1829) for fidelity, the author’s force and cadence, and modern clarity. The editor’s notes are omitted.
How Candide Killed the Brother of His Dear Cunégonde.
“All my life I shall remember the dreadful day when I saw my father and mother killed and my sister raped. When the Bulgarians had withdrawn, my adorable sister was nowhere to be found; my mother, my father, and I, along with two maidservants and three little boys whose throats had been cut, were put on a cart to be buried in a Jesuit chapel two leagues from my ancestral castle. A Jesuit sprinkled us with holy water; it was horribly salty. A few drops got into my eyes, and the father noticed a slight movement of my eyelid. He put his hand over my heart and felt it beating. I was cared for, and after three weeks there was no trace of injury. You know, my dear Candide, that I was very pretty; I became prettier still. And so the reverend father Croust, superior of the house, conceived the tenderest affection for me: he gave me the habit of a novice, and some time later I was sent to Rome. The father general needed a fresh contingent of young German Jesuits. The rulers of Paraguay admit as few Spanish Jesuits as possible; they prefer foreigners, whom they believe they can control more easily. The reverend father general judged me fit to go and labor in that vineyard. A Pole, a Tyrolean, and I set off together. On my arrival I was honored with the subdiaconate and a lieutenant’s commission; today I am a colonel and a priest. We shall give the king of Spain’s troops a vigorous reception; I promise you they will be excommunicated and beaten. Providence has sent you here to aid us. But is it really true that my dear sister Cunégonde is nearby, at the governor’s house in Buenos Aires?” Candide swore to him that nothing could be truer. Their tears began to flow again.
The baron could not embrace Candide enough; he called him his brother, his savior. “Ah! Perhaps, my dear Candide,” he said, “we can enter the city together as conquerors and take back my sister Cunégonde.” “That is all I wish,” said Candide, “for I intended to marry her, and still hope to.” “You insolent wretch!” replied the baron. “You would have the audacity to marry my sister, who has seventy-two quarterings of nobility! What effrontery, to dare speak to me of so outrageous a design!” Candide, stunned by these words, replied: “Reverend father, all the quarterings in the world make no difference. I rescued your sister from the arms of a Jew and an inquisitor; she owes me a great deal, and she wishes to marry me. Master Pangloss has always told me that all men are equal; and I shall certainly marry her.” “We shall see about that, scoundrel!” said the Jesuit baron of Thunder-ten-tronckh, and at the same moment struck Candide hard across the face with the flat of his sword. Candide instantly drew his own and drove it up to the hilt into the belly of the Jesuit baron; but as he drew it out, still steaming, he began to weep. “Alas! My God!” he said. “I have killed my old master, my friend, my brother-in-law. I am the best man in the world, and already I have killed three men; and of those three, two are priests.”
Cacambo, who was standing guard at the entrance to the bower, ran in. “All we can do now is sell our lives dearly,” his master told him. “They will certainly enter the bower; we must die with weapons in our hands.” Cacambo, who had seen far worse, did not lose his head. He took the Jesuit robe the baron was wearing, put it on Candide, gave him the dead man’s square cap, and had him mount his horse. All this was done in the blink of an eye. “Gallop, master! Everyone will take you for a Jesuit going to issue orders; we shall be across the border before they can pursue us.” He was already flying as he spoke, shouting in Spanish, “Make way, make way for the reverend father colonel!”
Plain English translation
Mouseia’s complete Plain English edition, made independently and directly from the French text of all thirty chapters (Beuchot edition, 1829). The editor’s notes are omitted.
How Candide killed his dear Cunégonde's brother.
“I'll remember for the rest of my life the horrible day when I saw my father and mother killed and my sister raped. After the Bulgarians left, no one could find my beloved sister. They put my mother, my father, and me into a cart, along with two maidservants and three little boys whose throats had been cut. They were taking us to be buried in a Jesuit chapel two leagues from my family's castle. A Jesuit sprinkled us with holy water. It was terribly salty, and a few drops got into my eyes. The priest noticed a slight movement in my eyelid. He put his hand on my heart and felt it beating. They cared for me, and after three weeks no sign of my injuries remained. You know, my dear Candide, that I was very good-looking. I became even better-looking, so the reverend Father Croust, the head of the house, grew very fond of me. He gave me the habit of a novice. Some time later I was sent to Rome. The father general needed more young German Jesuits. The rulers of Paraguay take in as few Spanish Jesuits as they can. They prefer foreigners, whom they think are easier to control. The reverend father general judged me fit to work in that vineyard. Three of us set out: a Pole, a Tyrolean, and I. When I arrived, I was honored with the office of subdeacon and a lieutenant's commission. Today I'm a colonel and a priest. We'll give the king of Spain's troops a strong reception. I promise you they'll be excommunicated and beaten. Providence has sent you here to help us. But is it really true that my dear sister Cunégonde is nearby, at the governor's home in Buenos Aires?” Candide swore to him that nothing could be more true. Their tears began to flow again.
The baron could not stop embracing Candide. He called him his brother and his savior. “Ah! Perhaps, my dear Candide,” he said, “we can enter the city together as victors and take back my sister Cunégonde.” “That's all I want,” said Candide, “because I meant to marry her, and I still hope to.” “You insolent man!” the baron replied. “You have the nerve to marry my sister, who has seventy-two quarters of noble ancestry! How dare you speak to me of such an outrageous plan!” Candide was stunned by this speech. He answered, “Reverend father, all the noble ancestors in the world make no difference. I rescued your sister from a Jew and an inquisitor. She owes me a great deal, and she wants to marry me. Master Pangloss always told me that all people are equal. And I will certainly marry her.” “We'll see about that, you scoundrel!” said the Jesuit Baron of Thunder-ten-tronckh. At the same moment he struck Candide hard in the face with the flat of his sword. Candide instantly drew his own sword and plunged it into the Jesuit baron's belly up to the hilt. But as he pulled it out, still steaming, he began to cry. “Oh, my God!” he said. “I've killed my former master, my friend, my brother-in-law! I'm the best man in the world, and I've already killed three men. Two of those three were priests.”
Cacambo, who was standing guard at the entrance to the garden shelter, came running. “All we can do now is sell our lives dearly,” his master told him. “They're sure to come into the shelter. We'll have to die fighting.” Cacambo had seen far worse things and kept his head. He took the Jesuit robe the baron was wearing, put it on Candide, gave him the dead man's square cap, and got him onto his horse. It all happened in an instant. “Let's gallop, master. Everyone will take you for a Jesuit on his way to give orders. We'll have crossed the border before anyone can chase us.” He was already racing off as he said this, shouting in Spanish, “Make way, make way for the reverend father colonel!”